Search Term Haiku

I extend my heartfelt condolences to the piteous souls who stumble across this site, after turning to their Google bibles in search of solace and certainty in this uncertain world, then finding. . . this.

Okay, not really. I derive no end of amusement from the search terms entered by the poor lost souls who end up here quite by accident. It is to these wayward seekers I dedicate these haiku.*

This definition of haiku comes from my favorite (only?) mullet haiku site:

Haiku  is a Japanese  verse form, notable for its compression and suggestiveness. It consists of three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables. Traditionally and ideally, a haiku presents a pair of contrasting images, one  suggestive of time and place, the other a vivid but fleeting  observation. Working together, they evoke mood and emotion. The poet  does not comment on the connection but leaves the synthesis of the two  images for the reader to perceive. A haiku by the poet Basho, considered  to have written the most perfect examples of the form, illustrates this  duality:

Now the swinging bridge
Is quieted with creepers ...
Like our tendrilled life.

Or, more in line with the haikus here, (example from the Mullet Haiku page):

It's not a trailer
Angry mullet man insists
Manufactured home

Search terms ending unsuspecting suckers up on Jayne Says are in bold. 

Smudging Mormon turns
To trusted mantis totem
Threeways in future?

Blessings for Saint Jayne
Illusion separation
Angelina boobs

Overall hunger
Brutal animal sanwich** . . .
Sims 2 skins Ewan?

Jayne in leather boasts
Funny sarcastic mottos
I wanted sex blogs

I will add to these in the future because I doubt this shit will ever get old. Do you have any search term haiku to contribute? Please share!

* "Haiku" is the plural of haiku. Not "haikus." I just learned this. My Google bible rarely leads me astray.

**The full search term here was for "brutal animal sanwich (sic) sex." I sure hope he ended up here on a church day so he could repent. (Yes, I'm assuming the searcher was a man.)

Comments

[Theresa]

You are such a smarty smart-ass, and I love that about you. This is a fun post . . . educational too. To think, I've been using the term "Haikus" in everyday speech and no one has called me on it. People can be so kind and forgiving!

I love to plant specific language in my posts in order to entice the unwitting. We already get plenty of hits because of the blog name, 2 Hot Chiks. But when I plant "Year of Cunnilingus", "Little Red Riding Crop", or "...Announcement from my Vagina", you know the little porn-blog-seekers are scurrying to hear my siren's song. Little do they know, I have my own secret evil plan. I have an agenda of Love and the ends justify the means.

I don't have to appologize for being manipulative. I'm the Love Goddess. Dieties are expected to do such things. In fact, I believe it's part of the job description.

[Theresa]

I should, however, "apologize" for my spelling. So sorry.

[Jas...]

The brutal animal sanwich sex thing? Yeah, that was me. I was lonely and my hamster was lookin' pretty good... aaaaand I needed a little visual stimulant, you get the drill. Drill! [laughing 'til I can't breathe] I'm so droll. Sort of.

I need help... and a new hamster.

[Jas...]

Unfortunately, I can't even pronounce Haiku, much less come up with one. Here's a try...

I'm cold and lonely
eating a turkey sandwich
and downloading porn.

:D Pretty good huh? Or was this TMI? I'm good at TMI.

[Jayne]

Theresa: You, too, huh? Just think what we could accomplish together if we used our combined powers for good instead of evil! ; ) And no apologee needed.

Jas: As usual, you crack me up! Good "hi coo." So are people searching for "cold and lonely," "turkey" or "downloading porn" when they unwittingly end up on your site? The SPCA is on its way BTW.

[Jas...]

SPCA? Damn. This'll be the third strike too!

[Jayne]

Jas: : ) oh, I forgot to ask, what is TMI? Three Mile Island??

[Shephard]

... just found this on your site (haiku). I love haiku. ~S

[Jayne]

Shephard: I love them too! And thanks for reminding me it is time for another installment. . .

[Maurice]

Your experiment worked - I stumbled here by searching 'Mullet Haiku'. But now I'm going to use your definition for my Mullet Haiku competition section in the mullet fundraiser.
Oh, and your condolences are misplaced - despite being someone who searches for things like 'mullet' and 'sex blog', I really liked your site. Smut is great.