Somtimes I Wish I Were A Gay Man

I wish I were tall and muscular, flirty and single. Mischievous, playful eyes and grin. Young enough to be hopeful, fun and fit. Yet old enough to be educated, experienced, and tired of playing the field. I would wear a baseball cap and worn-in jeans.

I would meet Jeff Funk at Babylon in Fort Wayne one night. Sparks would fly, time would stand still and we'd dance until we closed the place down. Then he would write about me on his amazing blog. Reading about our night together, I would alternate between shaking and nodding my head, in both stunned disbelief and understanding, then I would smile, laugh out loud, and sometimes cry and share his wistful longing. No matter how long we dated, I would still keep him guessing and on his toes, at least a little bit. Only because I wouldn't want him to run out of things to write about.

But I would want him to be happy and feel safe, loved and secure. Because he deserves it. So I would call when I said I would call, keep my promises and I would be honest, and we could build something beautiful together.

Go read some of Jeff Funk's If the Fates Allow. He is hilarious, poignant, and has incredible heart and talent. Not to mention so many of his stories are delicious! Sigh. I'm addicted . . . one of my guilty pleasures that I don't feel very guilty at all about.

I have the feeling this is the first in a series . . .

(And I will not hesitate to linkscape ANYONE who gay bashes on my site, just so we're clear.)

Comments

[bugg]

I hear you sister. I am a gay man trapped in a straight woman's body, for sure. Except I would have been one of Brian's (Gale Harold) conquests on Queer as folk. Holy hot!

[Shephard]

We're bloggily insync again, Sweetie. Or thereabouts. Same general topic, anyway.
Great link.
Altho I had to stop myself from laughing and wanting to pinch your cheeks with affection when you segued from being a gay man into calling and keeping your promises ...and at that point, you stopped being a gay man, and disolved back into the very thing I love about you... this amazingly compassionate and caring person. Now you know *precisely* why gay men love having women like YOU in their lives. Every Will needs a Grace.
~S

[Robin]

I like how you've written this -- moreso, how you've managed to sort of tap into some things I've never really contemplated.

[Theresa]

Jeez! That's all I need ... more bright, fun, interesting people in my life.

....... saved to Favorites.

Thanks Hot Stuff!

[gemmak]

I am so with you on the 'title' thing, I've yet to meet a gay man who isn't fab and seems to have fun in life.

Gay bashing, ugh :o(

[Polyman2]

Ah, to be in Gay Pareeee!
I'd wear all the latest fashions,
tons of make-up,
flirt like Rock Hudson,
and wave my rainbow flag high!

[Jayne]

Bugg: I've never seen that show! But I like the phrase "holy hot" so I'll have to check it out now.

Shephard: Well, look who is perpetuating stereotypes now. . . didn't you find a "keeper"? I'll be your Grace anytime, let's dance : )

Robin: Thanks. . . it was actually more of a device to point people in Jeff's direction because I think he is awesome.

Theresa: Any time!

Gemmak: Welcome! Glad you liked the title (and hope you checked out Jeff's blog because that's the reason I wrote this little postie!)

Polyman 2: You baffle me . . . but make me smile.

[knq]

*sigh* all the hot men are gay these days... I can see your point. Although, if my spousal unit kicks the bucket, I'm going the gay way myself. Seems like the only good option - who wants to deal with straight boys anymore? LOL

[Jeff Funk]

(!!) Oh my god. Thank you, Jayne. What a special blog entry. You gave me a "warm fuzzy" -- in fact, I'm still basking in its glow. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We would dance at Babylon till closing and have an amazing night indeed. You're so sweet. I loved this entry. You have a way with words. Wouldn't it be incredible to be in love with another writer? But then, maybe the spoken words would get in the way. Perhaps two writers would have to live through love letters. My mom told me about a couple who fought like cats and dogs when they were together, but they had a romance over the phone. He would call her every afternoon from work, and she'd swoon while talking to him, sitting in her kitchen. I love that story.

[Jayne]

knq: I can't help but remark that this is the second comment you've posted here about going gay once your husband dies. Hmmm. Should he be worried about his car brakes or anything? ; )

Jeff: You are so very welcome! Sometimes I get so enthused about someone, I just want to share. . . and I will totally be your pen pal lover. You can call me Jay. (That's my man name. Um, in case that wasn't completely obvious!) What a cute story about the phone couple, I loved that.

[tiger]

yummy, yummy picture.

I don't wish I were a gay man (I think I've got enough going on with the married to a man but attracted to women thing, thanks ;).

However... I do find them delicious... Gay men that is. :D