Allergies are Sexy!

I love gazing into red, weepy, squinting eyes.

And the sound of a loud sneeze gets me hot.

And oooh, streaming mucous, yummy. How about when a person always has wads of Kleenex stuffed in her pockets; how alluring are those intriguing bulges?

A wheezing, asthmatic whisper and cough in my ear, mmmmm.

Best of all? Being able to write on a person's skin, using nothing so sharp as the back of a post earring.

This condition is called dermatographia (derma=skin, graph=write) and I've had it for as long as I've had skin. The kids in elementary school used to play tic tac toe on my arms. But I'm not bitter.

I developed asthma around age 13; it was serious in my 20's but is under control now. I still have to carry an inhaler everywhere I go, just in case.

And blowing my nose is practically as common as breathing for me.

I think my allergies are the root cause of my fatigue and listlessness.

Also, lately I suspect that I have a lot of food allergies and sensitivities. I have been reading about them and they are quite common, particularly related to wheat, gluten, dairy, eggs, nuts and some fruits. Over the past few months, I've had some near anaphylactic reactions and strange rashes and digestive problems (I know, too much information!) which led me to the cleansing program (I won't link to my post on that).

I'm neither a bedroom nor a bathroom blogger; most will thank me for that. For those who are disappointed, (hi, Stella!) I will merely say that I am very glad I have been cleansing. It hasn't been pretty and I am pretty sure I had parasites, the lucky 1 in 4 people (but I have lived in the Third World much of my life so that could explain it) but I won't elaborate on that. Mostly, I have become very aware of what I am eating and how that has affected my body.

I'm about halfway through my 2 month internal cleansing and I think I am detoxing and have really been noticing my reactions to certain foods. My throat started closing up a bit after eating cinnamon a few weeks ago. I think this has happened before but I didn't pay much attention. I've been so accustomed to feeling crappy that I just took these "little" symptoms for granted, as a part of my unsatisfactory life.

I am sick and tired (literally) of feeling crappy. I just finished a wonderful book about surviving food allergies (Food Allergy Survival Guide - in my sidebar) that has a good scientific and nutrition section, along with many allergen-free recipes, and did not know how common these allergies were. I am frustrated that no doctor has ever mentioned this to me when I complained of my symptoms. Food and additive allergies can cause digestive problems, rashes, runny noses, fatigue, depression . . . your body thinks the normal food particles are enemy invaders and mounts a histamine response to repel them.

So I am taking charge, and am on a practically vegan, mostly organic (produce grown without pesticides) very simple diet, and will gradually reintroduce certain foods and notice my reactions.

I am whining, I know, but at least I am writing.

I wonder if people with allergies and very sensitive skin develop that as part of a scary or unpredictable childhood? If our emotions and psyches must be constantly vigilant, maybe our immune systems likewise become hyper-vigilant, sensing attack and betrayal where none exists?

Maybe that's just a crazy theory. I just want to get to the bottom of why I feel lousy so I can change it. The doctor handed me a few weeks sample of Lexapro, an anti-depressant. What if it's just that I'm eating myself sick?

The Pilot makes me exercise; he told me yesterday that if I wanted to have as round and firm an ass as he, I'd better ride my bike to the gym. Maybe he didn't say those words exactly, but in my hyper-vigilant state, I can read minds and I know that's what he meant, when he said that nutrition is just half of it and that we should exercise more.

My mother (a Norse force) is literally the daughter of an Olympic champion, my grandfather. She has boundless reserves of energy and calls me a "hot house flower." Why did she go and breed with a sicklier, smaller man who wouldn't even stick around after I was born? I guess I wouldn't be me, then.

If you are able to eat whatever you want, wash your face with any old supermarket soap and you feel great without any symptoms, I hate you.

But just watch out, because allergies are all the rage this season. And I'm too sexy for my snot, baby.

Comments

[arlo muttrie]

I never knew why women were so attracted to me. I'm very average looking, but I'm given to a melancholy that is currently out of vogue (though I'm hoping that that changes soon), but pollen apparently turns me into a sneezing, watery-eyed, itchy, gasping for air sex machine. Yee ha.

[caroline]

Hey, girl,

My best friend, gomez, whom I have known since we were 12 or so, has had food sensitivites or allergies her entire post-nasal drip life. Not so good when you're a singer, eh. The good news is that homeopathic remedies and yes, Pilot, regular excercise to include something centering like Tai-Chi or Chi Ball, really does work. She's doing much better in recent years. Also, the cleansing of diet, sometimes of a year or more of the most reaction-getting items often enables her to re-introduce them later. She can eat stuff now that would have strangled her in earlier years. So hang in there, it DOES often get much better.
p.s. and it's ok to let go of the story that you're a hot-house flower. maybe you WERE but you don't have to be ALWAYS...just sayin'...
mwah.

[Popeye]

OK, the skin thing is both cool and freaky. Mainly cool. How long does it stay?

[Nino]

I know- I have been a hovering silent blog reader far too long. You are dead sexy- but how do you make allergies even funny?? It's a gift. I have a nugget of hear say- my sisterIL had hair ananlysis done- have you heard of this (probably I am so in the dark ages)? I read the report she got after she sent a lock of hair away and it was incredible- all fancy graphs and big words. I guess the hair analysis captures a greater picture of your life instead of the instantaneous levels blood tests test. I might have it done- it reports all the nutritional levels in your body and tells you what foods to avoid and what to increase. Keep up the good fight-see you in July? X

[Neena]

Oh wow. Don't hate me because I'm alergy free (as far as I know), K? That's some pretty cool skin you have, though. :-)

Hope you figure this out and feel better, really soon.

If you need any recipes, I've got tons.

[Amethyst Rising]

I have been thinking about the whole cleansing thing recently - I just don't know if I could stick to the vegan thing... Veggies are my favorite food, but unfortunately, food is the only pleasure in my life...LOL

The skin thing is interesting... I had never heard of that...
My son has several allergies, mostly grasses, and I have been reading lately about his ADHD symptoms possibly being allergy related...

[The Pilot]

What's really freaky is when words show up all by themselves...

[timethief]

aachhhooo! Ahhh yes - we too are just too sexy for our snot out here on the wet coast and what could be a better aphrodisiac than hay seed up your nose, in your eyes and in your hose? In spring time when all the birds and bees are doing "it" allergy meds and kleenex boxes are what we have between us. But we do so much look forward to that YES! After humping our butts to get that hay all cut, tetted, baled and stacked, and trucked. You can bet on it Jayne, we won't be too tired to blow our loads when we get royally f---ed. aacchhhooo!

[Hill]

Had to read this a few times, through my own red, itchy squinty eyes...I feel ya, girl! England is all abloom with "rape seed" a lovely yellow flower from which a natural oil is harvested, that blooms in acres and acres of gorgeous, snot-inducing fields. Apparntly this crap is so legendary for making people's allerigies go into overdrive that it has been BANNED in several European countries! I LITERALLY sleep with a bottle of allergy eye drops on the night stand and do not remember that last time I went an entire 24 hour period without wheezing and snotting my way to the medicine cabinet for some MORE Claritin D.

I'll cross my fingers for you on the organic diet. It's really good for you in either event. Also, have you tried buying some local natural honey? It's supposed to help with allergies as it contains pollens from the local area.

Smooches!!

[kat]

Eventhough you hate me for not having any allergies, you've got to love me for my clumsiness...right? In the last week I've managed to cause major bodily harm to myself twice.

The writing on the skin thing is pretty cool. Did you doodle on yourself when you were bored in school? I would have.

[Kate]

great post. ok
1. I had a freaking bizzare childhood and I do have allergies and asthema... hummmmm there may be a connection. I really never thought of it. (my issues presented themselves after childbirth though not when I was a kid)
2. Freaky but cool photo!
3.Lexapro takes about a month to kick in... (you probably already know that...) I swear by it! Its been 6 months for me and has made life infinitely easier for me. I imaging you can cleans and take the medicine...
4.You are probably stick skinny... so while you may hate me for being able to eat what I want and wash up with store bought soap... I hate you because you are incontrol of your eating and look great lol... ok I really DONT hate you. I dont HATE much! Any I just found ya... how could I hate you? *wink

[Jayne]

Arlo: Well, here's hoping both melancholy and allergies rise in popularity; we can both do our part (but I could only read so much of your blog before the suicidal ideations set in, but I will check back when I feel stronger.)

Caroline: Yes, I've heard that, about reintroducing foods later. Fun stuff. And hey, you witnessed me taking a macho leap into that near-frozen pool, so I hardly self-identify as the HHF (most days.)

Popeye: Thank you for not calling me possessed. It lasts anywhere from a few minutes to a half hour, depending on how injured I am. Maybe there's a marketing potential here? Temporary slogans or advertising on my arm or anywhere else.

NINO!: I can't believe you have finally de-lurked after all this time. Hair analysis? Hm, I will look into that! But maybe I don't want them to know too much about everything I've consumed over the past couple years . . . yes, yes, I hope very much to see you next month! Hope all is A-ok in the UK XXOO

Neena: I could never hate you! Yeah, any wheat, soy, dairy, egg, sulphite, nut free recipies (no pizza, beer for a while : ( ) please pass on! Flaxseed crackers and bean paste, anyone? Shoot me now.

Amethyst: I actually occasionally eat some poultry (organic, free range chicken) and fish (wild, not farmed) so I'm hardly vegan, but haven't eaten any mammals since 1988 and don't miss it. I read in that book that ADHD can be helped by nutrition, steering clear of certain foods.

The Pilot: Thanks for the support, dear.

Timethief: Ha, no kidding! PS your blog is great!

Hill: Oh you poor dear, so sorry about the allergies. I will get some local honey, thanks for the tip! (once it's allowed in my diet, severely cutting back on all sugar except fruit . . .)

Kat: OMG that "third nipple" from your injury is something! Okay, I don't hate you. No, I didn't doodle on my skin, just horrified people if I absentmindedly scratched my neck for too long.

Kate: No no no, I don't hate you! As a new reader, I love you! You think I should stick out the Lexapro, huh? I will talk to my doctor tomorrow about it, but thanks for your perspective! And nonononono I'm hardly stick skinny and will never be (though I want to be more athletic)

[Shephard]

Maybe this will make you feel better (schadenfreude)..
We have a friend who is allergic to raw fruit and vegetables. He can't even eat an orange or an apple. To say the least of deadly grapes or salad.

The human body is amazing. I think you are smart for taking the snot by the horns, and deciding to do your own investigative urinalism. LOL I have no idea what that means, but it made me cackle. Ooo, food is effecting me oddly today.

I've had very mild eczema (the non scaley kind) since high school. It comes and goes. No clue why. Used to think it was climate related. Not sure anymore.

Good for you for doing something, anything.
Hugs,
~S

[stella]

did i miss THE POST...??? please send me the link.

i want details.

has the pilot been doing it too??

[Todd Elliott]

I need to look into that, I've had a lot of the same symptoms, and I'm sick of being sick. I've been trying to work out at the gym and everything, but it's hard to get the motivation. Are there any tests for food allergies? It's seems annoying to have to go through things one by one.

[jules]

Jayne: ok, this sounds weird, but here is a link to my vet: http://dogtorj.tripod.com/
He has celiac disease, which he covers on his website. It is a gluton allergy I believe. I can attest for his credentials, and his research. If you only knew the HOURS I have spent listening to him go onandonandonandon about this EVERYTIME I take my cats to the vet...I have to finally stop him and say "Doc, I already got the lecture, a bunch of times now". Just go read a bit, take what is good and ditch the rest. I hope it helps.
I am interested in that cleansing stuff. Is it really for real? Did you talk to your doctor about it first, to see if that stuff that comes out is really supposed to come out? I heard that good stuff is inside us and doesn't necessarily need cleansing. I'd like to hear more, you can email me if you'd rather. We don't have to get into gory detail tho, some things I just don't need to know. lol

[Bugg]

I have terrible allergies and I developed asthma when I was 30 for cryin' out loud! How sad is that? But. I'm here to tell you that the allergy shots have saved my life. I am now only slightly bothered by my allergens and I have only used my inhaler like twice in the last year.

[Theresa]

You have a point about our bodies reacting to our environment. Growing up with a mentally ill parent, the only time she was consistently kind to me was when I was sick. They called me their Million-Dollar-Baby because they were always taking me to the doctor for something (including allergies -- 47 different allergies). Even through my 20's, whenever I went home for a visit, I'd sudenly come down with a raging cold or the flu. Everyone in my family thinks of me as being sick all the time, when in fact, I'm rarely ever ill.

I'm sorry you have such a tough time with this stuff. I have really sensitive skin, and just dealing with that every day is frustrating and time consuming.

[Jayne]

Shephard: Thanks for the encouragement - yeah, to not be able to eat fruits and vegetables, crazy!

Stella: no, no, I was referring to the initial post (I need to get this out of my system) which you read. I have no dramatic follow-up (yet!) and no, the Pilot is not doing it, he is wary of me and my food issues.

Todd: There are skin prick and blood tests; unfortunately they are known for too many false negatives and positives, and only test for true allergies not intolerances and sensitivities which can cause similar reactions. But I hope my allergist does the blood testing, too.

Jules: Wow, I will check out your vet's experience, thanks. I may be writing more about the digestion stuff and yeah, you don't want to flush out the "good" bacteria (I take probiotic supplements, acidophilos etc. for that as I'm off yogurt for now).

Bugg: That's great news! I had allergy shots as a kid but never finished the course because we moved overseas and my last allergist refused to do them saying it was too risky but we'll see what this one says.

Theresa: That is interesting, about you getting sick when going home. I have a friend who learned that being sick was the only way she would get attention too and it carried into her relationship with friends. I hope I am not like that, I would hate to be so high maintenance, but it's a good reminder to look at that aspect of being sensitive, sick. And isn't sensitive skin the worst? Sigh.

[Melissa]

My new boyfriend (yay me!) could have written this post. I have never met someone so sickly. He has terrible asthma, is allergic to everything, and as a result, has been on a vegan diet for 10 years. It's not helping. Unless what I see now is better than he used to be, in which case, God bless him!

I can't imagine living like that. I've had exactly three allergic reactions my entire life, and I am keeping my fingers crossed that my luck continues.

[2007 boat denver show]

My mind is like a fog. I've just been sitting around doing nothing. Today was a loss.

[empty beer can]

Al consumo critico antiracket lÒOscar della partecipazione civica

[calorie candy in see]

The government should be persuaded to pay for all healthcare

[arrangement flower tropical wedding]

I haven't been up to anything. That's how it is. Not much on my mind right now. I can't be bothered with anything recently, not that it matters. It's not important.

[3d free game multiplayer online play]

I haven't gotten anything done. Whatever. I just don't have anything to say.