How Does it Feel to be One of the Beautiful People?

I shudder and cringe, eyes mostly covered by my hands in shame, as I relate these embarrassing facts.

I am not physically "perfect." It's true!

In fact, nobody I know is perfect.

Some are too tall, some too short. Some bony, some fleshy. Some shaped like an apple, some a pear, some a bean pole, some a jelly fish, some like a summer squash.

I have seen cellulite.

Stomach rolls.

Double chins. No chins.

Goofy noses, squinty eyes, wrinkles, gray hairs.

Cankles.

Spider veins.

Mis-matched breasts. Breasts that are too small, too big, too sagging, nipples not quite right in size or color (all according to their hosts, that is).

Small penises, hairy ones, mis-matched balls.

Chicken legs. Tree-trunk legs. Flat asses, huge asses.

Hair where there shouldn't be hair. No hair where hair ought to be. Stubble.

Spots, blemishes, bruises and freckles.

Pasty skin, burned skin, funny tan lines.

When you are smiling, when your smile lights up your eyes, my GOD do you know how GORGEOUS you are?

Do you know how many BILLIONS of dollars advertising corporations spend to manipulate you into thinking and feeling and experiencing yourself as not gorgeous?

Fuck them all, I say. You wouldn't let someone come into your living room and dump a garbage can onto your floor; why let them do that to your mind?

Seriously. Please give yourself - your fat/thin/short/tall/spotty/imperfectly perfect self - a break and feel yourself as free, as beautiful. Strip on down and love yourself. Um, you know what I mean.

(This is a follow up to my recent post about nudity and some of the comments.)
(EDIT: Even most of the so called "beautiful" people have serious body issues, perhaps more so given the constant scrutiny their bodies are given. I have read so many interviews with people like Gweneth Paltrow or Angelina Jolie and they hate their asses, Michelle Pfieffer thinks her mouth looks like a duck beak, etc. So before anyone tells me, "easy for you to say, Jayne, you are thin and attractive," I will state I have HATED my body in the past. My weight, my height (5'9"), my frame (large), my small mouth, my sensitive skin, the dent on the end of my nose where I had a smallpox blister, my cellulite, my hairline, the color of my hair, the length of it, my stubby toes, my big calves, all of my freckles, my fingernails, the lines I am getting on my face, my small chin, etc. etc. BUT I no longer hate any part of myself. I no longer compare myself to others (and I generally avoid TV and fashion magazines) I know I am not "perfect" but really, really, beauty does come from within, from the spirit, and we are all so much more than the sum of our parts.)

Comments

[Mark]

Oh my God...so true. As a highschool teacher I have FAR TOO MANY kids buy into the message that the media is giving them about their bodies...and not just the girls. We have a number of different things that we do to combat this: videos that show them how pictures of models are "doctored", discussions about all the different body types that exist Etc. BUT the problem still exists and it is still a huge concern. Most of you seem to be intelligent people...do you have any ideas?

[Todd Elliott]

Mis-matched balls? How are balls mismatched? I'm imagining one pink ball, and one slightly brownish one. Sort of like mismatched socks.

[Melissa]

Just this weekend, I had a conversation about body images with a good male friend of mine while we were lying out in Central Park. Both men and women's body images. He's 5'8, half-Asian, and thus, not a very big guy. I am 5'10 and very athletic. Both of us feel completely warped when we compare ourselves to our peers. I am never going to be 5'4, 115 lbs., and he's never going to be 6'2, 195 lbs. Though I don't generally feel fat, and I do recognize the attention that men constantly give me is way more than a lot of women will ever get, I still can't help but look at all the girls around me in their size 4 swimsuits and feel huge in my size 10. I truly admire those women I see who just let it all hang out and say, "Fuck you - it's hot and I'm wearing a bikini whether you like it or not!" With that said, I am truly a fan of the topless beaches.

[Skydancer069]

This is such a great post. We are so often reminded of the skinny pretty people that we ourselves are not happy and think that we all should look a certain way.
If we all looked a like we would not have the individuality that makes us who we are in our own special way. We all need to start seeing ourselves for who we are in side and not on the outside. Great post!

[Pops]

You can do something about those awful stubby toes. I've heard of this new procedure where they use a jigsaw to cut all your toes off, solder in solid platinum extensions RIGHT ON THE BONE and then reattach your original toe-ends. Noone will be able to see the platinum, but won't it be great to know your new, longer toes are worth HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS?! Sure, they'll never totally heal and will cause you excruciating pain for the rest of your life, but my God, you will finally be perfect.

[coyote]

IMO all previous commenters have hit the nail on the head. It's clear as crystal that when we liberate our minds our asses will follow. Once we take off the rose coloured advertising glasses that create a false reality about the perfect human form we can we can see ourselves and others as we really are and walk in beauty.

How we do that is by seeing ourselves as we really are from the inside out (thanks Melissa). On the inside we are all beautiful, perfect and whole. On the outside we are too.

Life's lesson is to recognize that we are beauty. Life's mission is to walk the beauty way.

[coyote]

IMO all previous commenters have hit the nail on the head. It's clear as crystal that when we liberate our minds our asses will follow. Once we take off the rose coloured advertising glasses that create a false reality about the perfect human form we can we can see ourselves and others as we really are and walk in beauty.

How we do that is by seeing ourselves as we really are from the inside out (thanks Melissa). On the inside we are all beautiful, perfect and whole. On the outside we are too.

Life's lesson is to recognize that we are beauty. Life's mission is to walk the beauty way.

[Popeye]

(ok)

[stella]

boy do i know about chins...

i really want to get this pic posted for you...need to look into it. (and the jack hannah plus chins photo)...if i can find my balls.

god i need dsl up in this joint.

[Shephard]

It appears the answer to this issue... is the same answer to every issue that matters. Be a leader, not a follower; be an example, and don't wait for group validation.
Just like the rest of life. :) Always a tall order, one that requires focus, and a little reprogramming (or a lot).
~S

[kat]

this is something i've been trying to work on recently...convincing myself that i am one of the beautiful people. it's hard.

[Jayne]

Mark: I don't know if I have any answers - but what you are doing must be sinking in somewhere with some of the kids. Have you brought in advertising information (how much the industry spends, what common tactics are in getting you to feel bad about yourself - how they hire professional psychologists to learn how to manipulate thoughts about self-image?)

Todd: Um, I was thinking of more of a lemon hanging out with a grape. Oh, the places I've been.

Melissa: Yeah, I think we have similar body types - tall, athletic frames, etc. I think it helps to have tall and big friends (my best friend is 5'10," not skinny and rocks 4 inch heels. She taught me not to slouch. We get a lot of attention) and athletic role models - that's why I love Starbuck in (the new) Battlestar Gallactica and movies about strong women, to remind us there are beautiful alternatives.

Skydancer: Amen!!

Pops: Thank you so much for the information! I think Wolverine toe extentions will complete me.

Coyote: I love how emphatic you are that you stated it twice! (I know, Typepad comments can be twitchy.) Liberate the mind and the ass will follow, ha!! That is great : )

Popeye: I hope you are good and reprimanded now ; )

Stella: I was thinking about you and the chins when I wrote this. Of course I want to see pictures (and you are beautiful, goof ball.)

Shephard: Be a leader, not a follower, exactly. Because when you do that, and you think you are being so brave and alone, really what you are doing is paving the way, helping to liberate others, doing such a service for humanity! My friend Princess is like that. IS VERY comfortable with her non-perfect body and just radiates beauty and sensuality, does not need validation from anyone. Her being that way helped me to see beauty differently.

Kat: I know it's hard. Try smiling at yourself everytime you look in the mirror. Then give yourself a saucy wink and say "hello, beautiful" and kiss the mirror. Then take your clothes off . . . oh, sorry.

[sulz]

the moments i felt prettiest and happiest with my body and face is when i have been away from the mirror more than half a day and wearing my contact lenses. (because my contacts power is less than what i should be wearing, so my vision's not perfect in them.)

i feel prettiest when i'm not scrutinising myself in the mirror and the lights are romantically dimmed. i think that is how most people see me too, because i sure don't see my friends under a magnifying glass.

so maybe that's why they protest whenever i am being self-deprecating about my looks and body.

[Joelle]

But how do you except that your a beautiful person? I have a friend that is beautiful that gets every mans attention,but im still not able to persue any attention?
If you have any suggestions?
Thanks