Jayne Says

Letters From a Grassy Knoll

I was at the gym a few days ago, and grabbed a copy of Vanity Fair to peruse while mastering some stairs. In it, I read a brief article about an incendiary documentary called Loose Change, which purported to connect all the dots to prove that 9/11 was orchestrated and caused by those who have the most to profit (with opportunity and motive) from such a disaster, namely the current administration.

Because I love me a good conspiracy theory, I checked it out today (you can watch the documentary online here.) I must say, I was persuaded more than I had cared to be. The interviews with the NYFD crew were heart-wrenching, and described multiple explosions going off in the buildings after the planes hit.

Why was W's brother (Marvin, not Jeb) in charge of security and insurance on the WTC? Why were bomb-sniffing dogs removed from the scene the week before the collapse and lots of drills with people evacuated the week before (an opportunity to plant explosives)? Why is there no trace of any airplane or airplane-like explosion at the Pentagon? Why was a disaster "like Pearl Harbor" touted by people like Dick Cheney as a necessary catalyst for justifying removing Saddam . . . years before 9/11? Why were so many investors gambling that airline stock would decrease right before 9/11? Why did the buildings collapse (video footage shows flashes of explosions, like a planned demolition). And et cetera.

There is a lot there, I am still digesting it.

Now if you read this blog, I am asking you to comment. If you never comment, or rarely comment, or even if you comment sometimes. For this post, I need your help. I need your feedback. Seriously.

Assuming, arguendo,* that the current White House administration conspired to stage an attack on the WTC, killing thousands of our citizens, in order to to justify (however lamely) initiating military action in the Middle East, inflaming hatred and killing thousands of others and more of our own, what is the appropriate response of our citizenry?

I'm not saying this theory is true just because I tend to believe it. But even if you don't believe it after watching the video, I need to know (humor me and suspend your disbelief for a few moments) ~ what would be the acceptable, right thing to do, for us to do if it were true? What would you be prepared to do, personally, if this were the case?

*Hey, I spent $80,000 on an education that entitles me to use Latin. Was that worth it, you ask? Res ipsa loquitur, my bitches . . . Please answer my questions if you can because I am seriously having a crisis of faith, of will.

We're All Poisoned . . . But There's Hope!

Sometimes, it's refreshing to take a break, whether from work, people or blogging. I spent part of the week in So. Cal at a conference. During the last session, we had a conflict resolution workshop. We had to pair up and I was grouped with someone I've known for several years and frankly rubbed me the wrong way. Stuffy, long-winded white lawyer/judge in a suit. We both belong to a small organization and have even had it out over the years (mostly because he just irritates me and talks too much and is arrogant.)

The exercise involved each of us having to listen to the other's life story, each of us talking for 5 minutes without any interruption. The listener just has to be there and listen.

I started, and told my story, and watched Suit's eyes get bigger and bigger. Afterward, he kept saying how wrong his assumptions and perceptions about me were, how fascinating my life has been, etc. Then it was his turn. And I must say, I had no idea. He has been a craftsman, wandered around, was part of the civil rights movement at Berkeley at the day, and generally had more going on than I ever imagined. We left the session with a newfound appreciation of each other and people in general.

Of course, when we have 5 minutes to tell our life stories, we are generally going to keep it somewhat positive and interesting ~ Jayne Wolf, International Woman of Mystery. I could have easily told a tragic story about my messed up childhood, failures, tendencies, frustrations, bouts with depression, etc. But I don't even tell myself those stories anymore (Boring! Futile!)

Anyway, I think I'm going to try that more often, ask people about their lives, especially with those who I perceive antagonize me. The number of those people is more than I care to admit. Have I mentioned lately that I am sick of being a lawyer?

I spent the second half of my week holed up and reading. A few books about herbs and two other books worth noting.

The first is entitled The Hundred Year Lie, How Food and Medicine are Destroying your Health, by Randall Fitzgerald.

The second is Harvest for Hope, A Guide to Mindful Eating by [SUPER STAR!] Jane Goodall.

In The Hundred Year Lie, investigative journalist Randall Fitzgerald culls scientific studies, facts and trends, and paints a stark picture of the past 100 years ~ how we're getting sicker, earlier. How many prescription drugs are not safe. How the nutrition in our food is depleted, how many toxic chemicals we each carry around in our bodies (about 700) and how many of those are known carcinogens (some, banned decades ago but hanging around) how the synergies - the combinations of chemicals - have not been studied, how children's nutrition and poisoning (pesticides, antibiotics, food additives, etc.) have been linked to violence, attention deficit disorders, etc.

Lab tests have found that four common food additives -- aspartame, MSG, and two coloring chemicals--interact synergistically to produce nerve damage. These additives are commonly found in junk food marketed to children.

Because two of my loved ones have been diagnosed with Parkinson's this year, and because that disease has been linked to high chemical exposure, this is a topic that more than interests me. We have become so toxic that our blood, fat tissues and breast milk would never pass an FDA inspection (unless we had a powerful lobbyist to slide us through, of course.) He ends the book with good detoxifying information.

In Harvest for Hope, Jane Goodall writes about many of the same studies and alarming information, and includes facts about genetically modified organisms (GMOs). But Goodall writes in a more anecdotal, sometimes playful style. She tells many stories of children and adults working together in community gardens, people tearing out GMO crops in protest, and provides several resources for linking up with community supported agriculture (CSA).

She unveils the mega-corporate ownership of many "shallow" organic companies, talks about the dangers of farmed fish and packed cow and pig feedlots (both to humans and animals) and urges us all to become informed and act to make our lives healthier. She has a great list of resources (also on her website) such as Local Harvest, which maintains a nationwide directory of CSAs, farmers markets, small farms and other local food sources.

I highly recommend both of these books. We have fouled our nest, bodies, animals and children in unimaginable ways, but we can turn it around, if each of us decides to take responsibility and act to reclaim our health and planet.

And here's the part where I bring in the first part of this post, about listening to people's life stories, and tie the whole thing up into a tidy package. Or not.

Halfway Friends

I am heading to Southern California today. I have a few friends down there but probably won't get to see them because one has a baby (so is off the hook whilst baby's still on the boob, I suppose) and the other won't meet me halfway.

He would love to see me, I am even welcome to stay at his place. But I will be about over an hour away with all the traffic (I'll be somewhere near Riverside, he's in Hollywood) and after driving to the airport (1.5 hours) waiting in the airport, flying to San Francisco, changing planes, arriving in San Diego, driving another hour or so to the conference hotel . . . he will expect me to hop in my rental car and drive up to see him. Then drive back. I have done this many times before and always enjoy my friends' company. But I feel taken advantage of.

This whole "would love to see you if you come straight to my door" stance bothers me.

I prefer it when friends meet me halfway. Because T and I travel a lot and don't mind driving, we usually end up visiting our friends. But not always vice versa. We've probably set this situation up because everyone figures we'll roll into their town eventually.

I'm having a bad friend week. (One invited me to stay at her house then lost track of time and I ended up staying at a hotel, 2 were supposed to spend the weekend with us here then canceled for a LAME reason, now this . . .) Poor little Jaynie.

So I'm taking a little blog break this week. Will return when I am fascinating. Or have something to say that doesn't come out in a whine.

Sometimes

Work and travel REALLY interfere with my blogging and herb-making! The nerve. Back this weekend. Off again to So. Cal. Monday-Thursday for a conference. Back again. Gone again. And so it goes.

Question for the day - Do you ever hang out with people who are stoned when you are not? Do you enjoy this experience generally?

The Revolution Begins . . .

. . . with an honest assessment of what percentage of one's

• Body,
• Mind and
• Spirit

are under corporate control. For how can we reclaim our lives if we are not conscious of who owns it? Who is the majority shareholder of your life? Is not personal freedom your inherent birthright?

I am gratified to report that my Spirit is nearly 100% Jayne-owned. I say "nearly" because it is impossible to discern how many insidious messages from advertisers have crept in and influenced my thoughts about even my spiritual life. "Hm, maybe I will be more spiritual if I drink Evian or eat Yoplait. . ."

My Mind is probably a majority Jayne-owned commodity, though attaining this status took many years of reaccumulating it, share by share. Brand loyalties and snobbery, ideas about beauty, celebrity gossip, beliefs about "4 out of 5" whatevers recommending whatever, what I think of as "cool," how afraid I might be after watching the news . . .  this is all in there, co-mingling with my autonomy. Probably 30% of my mind is not my own but has instead been successfully manipulated by the professional manipulators. Every day, I struggle to lower that number. Killing my television 8 years ago helped.

My Body? Probably 50-50 at this point. This is where it gets interesting. Reclaiming our bodies is perhaps the most subversive, empowering, political action we can take.

Yes, washing your hands with soap and water several times a day is prudent and sanitary, but . . .

Corporate Conspiracy # 3,068: Whatever you do, don't get your hands dirty! Dirt is dirty! Germy, must sterilize, gross. Here are 5 billion toxic chemical products to clean and sterilize you.

But getting one's hands constructively dirty is the key to freedom. When we:

• Grow our own food;
• Make our own "stuff" - art, woodworking, knitting, crafts, DIY;
• Prepare our own food with healthful ingredients;
• Share with one another what we have created and learned;
• Buy less, especially toxic products;
• Buy local organic and non-genetically modified produce whenever possible (these products might be more expensive, but they are often not supported by corporate welfare and government subsidies);
• Take charge of our medical care (differentiating between, as herbalist Michael Moore says, "little sick" (drinking a tea, sweating it out, moaning and groaning but feeling better) and "bad sick" (get your ass to the doctor already!)
• Reclaim our relationships to plants as medicinal healers as teachers . . .

Then we are not only acquiring back our lives, share by share, but we are also Sticking it to The Man, which pleases me to no end. (Image from here.)

An aside: I read a review of a book (which I promptly bought) called the 100 Year Lie [good website!] that said a majority of California's rivers are contaminated with high levels of Prozac and Ritalin.

I don't want to swim in Prozac and Ritilin.

Another aside: I was in the hardware store the other day and overheard a conversation wherein the clerk recommended Round Up to a customer, gloating, "it kills everything!" They both laughed and the purchase was made. I will write more about seed activists and farmers who brown bag (keep) their seeds for the next harvest (then get sued by Monsanto--makers of Round Up--for patent infringement.)

Why do we want to "kill everything?" The pesky Dandelion is actually a potent medicinal herb. We are surrounded by "weeds" that can be brought into our salads, soups, teas and medicines.

Why is it so great to have crops with built-in modifications to explode caterpillar stomachs? Don't we like the butterflies (erstwhile caterpillars) that pollinate the crops? What about the birds that get contaminated by eating the poisoned caterpillars? Yummmmmmy, pesticides.

Power to the People. The Revolution begins . . . with what you have for breakfast.

Herbal Angel Guidelines and Disclaimer

"Herbal Angels" sounds a little more dignified than "guinea pigs," no? I am so excited to have a few brews to concoct for my research, experience and homework. If anyone else is interested, the following guidelines might be helpful:

• Leave a comment here or e-mail me at jaynesays@mac.com with what's been ailing you (or your friend, child, loved one, dog or cat, etc.) Please seek medical attention first (and let me know if you are taking medications, etc. for the conditions as there can be bad combinations, such as kava kava with Parkinson's drugs, some blood-thinning herbs with blood-thinning drugs, etc.)
• Let me know if you have any allergies to herbs that you know of, or have alcohol intolerance (most tinctures are preserved in alcohol, but I can do glycerine ones for persons who can't tolerate alcohol).
• It would be helpful if you know your main "dosha" in Ayurvedic terms (also part of my homework.) You can take a little self-test here. I am predominately "Pitta," with a fiery constitution. Shocking, I know. According to Ayurveda (a 5,000 year old healing tradition arising from India) the reason some herbal remedies do not work on certain people is that the herb is not suited to that person's constitution. For example, if a fiery Pitta-type person, who is often hot and suffers from anger outbursts, skin and joint inflammations, etc. takes a "hot" herb to treat her ailments, that might just aggravate the condition, when a similar, "cooling" herb would be more effective. I am simplifying here.
• Let me know if you want me to whip something up for you, whether you want me to post the procedure online so we can make it together, or whether you just want links to information, already made products (mine will take a few weeks.)

Disclaimer. Although the herbs I will be describing are for the most part mild, have no known side effects and have been used for thousands of years as "folk" remedies and cures, the following must legally be stated:

• Information on this website regarding herbal remedies is not intended to treat, cure, prevent or diagnose any disease, and is not intended as prescriptions in any way. I do not take responsibility for your use of the herbs described.
• I trust you will use your own discretion and intuitive wisdom as to which herbs may be appropriate to your particular needs. I cannot provide you with medical advice, dosage information, potential drug/herb reactions or assistance with questions relating to injury or illness, etc. I am not a licensed medical practitioner or pharmacist. I am legally restricted from answering your medical questions.
• All herbal blends I send out will be labeled with safety cautions as required and recommended by the American Herbal Product Association and their Botanical Safety Index. Those basic safety and caution guidelines are based in industry recommendations, they are not intended as a complete, conclusive or up to date list. For more information, contact the American Herbal Products Association, FDA guidelines or a licensed health practitioner.
• The herbal descriptions are folkloric in nature and are not to be mistaken for medical advice.
• Nothing on this website has been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.

Freakin' lawyers, they ruin it for the rest of us ; ) . . . I look forward to hearing from you soon!

All Herbs, All the Time

My new(ish) obsession is herbal remedies. I read about them day and night. I just finished a wonderful book (in my sidebar) by James Green about making herbal medicines, salves, teas, oils, suppositories (!) you name it. I just ordered some organic medicinal seeds and some books to learn how to grow them.

I'm putting myself on a 1 year herbal challenge. No "conventional" medicines, just herbs, to treat whatever ails me. Unless I get really sick or in an accident or something; western medicine can be pretty damn heroic.

But for the day to day human aches, cramps, rashes, mood or sleep regulation, hormonal balancing, stomach upset, etc. I'm going green. Plants are so amazing - and the complex, whole plant is usually more effective than an isolated compound which is chemically extracted and processed. For example, white willow bark has been used for thousands of years to cure headaches, pain, fever and inflammation. Willow bark has salicylic acid in it (a key component of aspirin.) However, while aspirin pills can irritate your stomach, willow bark has built-in stomach soothers of tannins and mucilage. Elegant.

I'm enrolled and studying herbology via an online course.

What I will be making in the near future: hair tonic, love potion, wound healing balm, PMS reliever, mood lifter and maybe a tonic to help with nerve problems.

I consider myself pretty balanced between my right and left brains, intuitive and open-minded, while analytical. I will track the results as compared to synthetic medicines/treatments and report. If anyone wants to be a guinea pig (for non life-threatening ailments) please let me know as for my course I'm supposed to concoct some remedies for people and keep track.

Labor (of Love) Day

Yesterday was my one year blogiversary. I wonder how many hundreds of pages I have written here--and why I didn't instead write a book or finish a screenplay?! Probably because I wouldn't have written a word if I didn't think someone would be reading it and providing feedback. This blogging experience has certainly compelled me to write. Not always well or well-conceived, but I have been writing nonetheless, so I thank you for that.

This has been an intense, wonderful year. I started out in blogging because I felt generally compelled to express. Also, though, I felt I had a "message" to "teach" and I would "build" an "audience" for such message.

HA! I have learned I have no message, I don't care enough to do the work it takes to build and market my site, and that everyone is my teacher. I kind of prefer the scenario where I'm the charismatic cult leader and my readers are the glassy-eyed, obedient, adoring followers, but I'll roll with reality for now.

12 other things I have learned about blogging over the past year:

• Just because someone comments on your blog, that doesn't mean you are friends.
• You can and most likely will create enduring friendships that start with a comment on a blog.
• Paragraph breaks can make or break a blog (for me, reading-wise.)
• No matter how terminally unique you think you or your problems are, you can usually take comfort in knowing there are many others enduring a similar ordeal.
• Except sometimes, you're just terminally unique and terribly, terribly alone. But that's okay.
• It is possible to take your blog (and yourself) too seriously. It is best not to.
• People who identify themselves too clearly on their blogs and go on to write things they don't want people in their lives to read usually regret it.
• Just because you are excited and proud of yourself for starting a blog, does not mean your friends or families will be. And even if they are, you might regret telling them about it. Because then you will never know who is lurking, it is unnerving (and you might offend someone. I learned this the hard way). Keep it to a few close friends and don't be insulted if they aren't blog people and don't keep up with reading your precious words.
• You might get more comments by posting scantily-clad pictures of yourself, but you won't get more respect and a readership that gets what you want to write. There are exceptions.
• It can be so easy to get sucked into living online and forgetting to get outside, connect with the people in your life, perform the work you are paid to perform. Balance is key.
• You can't really trust anyone you meet online. Until you do.
• This medium is under-used as the world-changing force it could be.

10 things I learned about myself this past year:

• I could be a professional starter. As in projects. I can get anything off the ground.
• It's the follow-through that fucks me.
• In order to be happy, I really need to pay attention to and take care of my health and body.
• And make an effort to connect with those I love.
• And get out there, take risks and LIVE.
• And make an effort to be kind to everyone I encounter.
• And take responsibility for the impact my living has on the planet.
• Not just think "deep thoughts."
• I always thought my natural tendencies were to be a little bit lazy, mean and self-absorbed. That may be true, but in studying brain psychology a bit more, I realized that is most of our tendencies; we just need some awareness and discipline to move beyond them.
• I have been unnecessarily intolerant of some belief systems, and perhaps too tolerant of others.

5 things I wish I hadn't heard over the past year:

• She has Parkinson's. Fuck.
• He has Parkinson's. Double-fuck.
• The check really should be in the mail.
• We want you to do the presentation.
• You are overdrawn. [Again.]

5 things that I didn't mind hearing so much this year:

• You look great!
• Are those real? You sure have big boobs for a skinny bitch. [Ah, thank you, Ruthie.]
• Can I see your ID?
• Petition for review to the California Supreme Court has been denied.
• If you come to Africa, I'll pay for half of your expenses.

So, given the above, I should probably add one bullet-point to my above list of things I learned about myself this year:

• Flattery, money and success make it all somehow bearable.

Somehow, I don't think that's THE LESSON I'm supposed to be learning or imparting here, but I need to save something for next year's blogiversary, no?

In the meanwhile, please tell me I'm pretty and that I'm doing well for my clients, who will pay me very soon. I'm sure the check is in the proverbial mail.