Labor (of Love) Day

Yesterday was my one year blogiversary. I wonder how many hundreds of pages I have written here--and why I didn't instead write a book or finish a screenplay?! Probably because I wouldn't have written a word if I didn't think someone would be reading it and providing feedback. This blogging experience has certainly compelled me to write. Not always well or well-conceived, but I have been writing nonetheless, so I thank you for that.

This has been an intense, wonderful year. I started out in blogging because I felt generally compelled to express. Also, though, I felt I had a "message" to "teach" and I would "build" an "audience" for such message.

HA! I have learned I have no message, I don't care enough to do the work it takes to build and market my site, and that everyone is my teacher. I kind of prefer the scenario where I'm the charismatic cult leader and my readers are the glassy-eyed, obedient, adoring followers, but I'll roll with reality for now.

12 other things I have learned about blogging over the past year:

• Just because someone comments on your blog, that doesn't mean you are friends.
• You can and most likely will create enduring friendships that start with a comment on a blog.
• Paragraph breaks can make or break a blog (for me, reading-wise.)
• No matter how terminally unique you think you or your problems are, you can usually take comfort in knowing there are many others enduring a similar ordeal.
• Except sometimes, you're just terminally unique and terribly, terribly alone. But that's okay.
• It is possible to take your blog (and yourself) too seriously. It is best not to.
• People who identify themselves too clearly on their blogs and go on to write things they don't want people in their lives to read usually regret it.
• Just because you are excited and proud of yourself for starting a blog, does not mean your friends or families will be. And even if they are, you might regret telling them about it. Because then you will never know who is lurking, it is unnerving (and you might offend someone. I learned this the hard way). Keep it to a few close friends and don't be insulted if they aren't blog people and don't keep up with reading your precious words.
• You might get more comments by posting scantily-clad pictures of yourself, but you won't get more respect and a readership that gets what you want to write. There are exceptions.
• It can be so easy to get sucked into living online and forgetting to get outside, connect with the people in your life, perform the work you are paid to perform. Balance is key.
• You can't really trust anyone you meet online. Until you do.
• This medium is under-used as the world-changing force it could be.

10 things I learned about myself this past year:

• I could be a professional starter. As in projects. I can get anything off the ground.
• It's the follow-through that fucks me.
• In order to be happy, I really need to pay attention to and take care of my health and body.
• And make an effort to connect with those I love.
• And get out there, take risks and LIVE.
• And make an effort to be kind to everyone I encounter.
• And take responsibility for the impact my living has on the planet.
• Not just think "deep thoughts."
• I always thought my natural tendencies were to be a little bit lazy, mean and self-absorbed. That may be true, but in studying brain psychology a bit more, I realized that is most of our tendencies; we just need some awareness and discipline to move beyond them.
• I have been unnecessarily intolerant of some belief systems, and perhaps too tolerant of others.

5 things I wish I hadn't heard over the past year:

• She has Parkinson's. Fuck.
• He has Parkinson's. Double-fuck.
• The check really should be in the mail.
• We want you to do the presentation.
• You are overdrawn. [Again.]

5 things that I didn't mind hearing so much this year:

• You look great!
• Are those real? You sure have big boobs for a skinny bitch. [Ah, thank you, Ruthie.]
• Can I see your ID?
• Petition for review to the California Supreme Court has been denied.
• If you come to Africa, I'll pay for half of your expenses.

So, given the above, I should probably add one bullet-point to my above list of things I learned about myself this year:

• Flattery, money and success make it all somehow bearable.

Somehow, I don't think that's THE LESSON I'm supposed to be learning or imparting here, but I need to save something for next year's blogiversary, no?

In the meanwhile, please tell me I'm pretty and that I'm doing well for my clients, who will pay me very soon. I'm sure the check is in the proverbial mail.

Comments

[caroline]

Ah, Jayne, I'm printing this post out because among other commonalities I could have written those 10 things I learned about myself. About myself, that is. In blogland as in 3D life it's amazing that we find the people we're supposed to find and share more than we think is possible from inside our little cages of skin and bone. and I'm printing it for the laughs, too. If Ruthie didn't exist someone would have to invent her, eh? Gawd, she's Ming the Merciless!
much love and keep writing, chica!

[Mother]

I love this. World changing INDEED.

[Nino]

You are my fucking american idol incarnate! and blogtastic to boot!

[Shephard]

I think you're radiantly pretty. :) Always have.
I have learned those same things, for the most part (except for the boob part).
So it must all be built into the blogging experience.
This kind of writing has strengthened my character and my resolve in so many ways. And, like what I say in Monday's post, it keeps me from ignoring the internal. :)
I'm glad you're still blogging.
~S :)

[SBW]

Happy Blogiversary! I'm so happy I found your blog because I get to pass off all your amazing ideas as my own in real life. My friends think I am so much cooler and smarter than I really am, thanks to you!

Your beautiful, your doing excellent work for your clients, and I'm sure their checks are in the mail.

[Pops]

So are you saying we ARE friends or we're NOT friends? I need to know because I list my friends in black painted foot-high letters on the side of my house. Everyone else is on the enemies list.

[wendy]

Happy Blogiversary! I do love that I can write what ever I want (well, sorta kinda .. sometimes editted to keep the guilty parties clueless!) ... but mostly, I love "meeting" so many folks here!

[timethief aka coyote]

Ganagi - Imagine looking at the world you live in, and recognizing divinity in everything you see and everyone you meet. Imagine facing every situation in your life with the unwavering strength and delight that come from the certainty of the divine presence of the Great Spirit within you.

"Pretty" is for dolls and other toys.
You are a BEAUTIFUL woman. You are DIVINE.

Consequently, we are more than friends Jayne, we are connected.

Waves are part of the ocean: both waves and ocean are water.
The rain that is the waves and is the ocean is water.
The mist that rises from them is water.

How easy it is to wash up on the rocks not recognizing that we are all bags of water floating freely in the ocean of divine love. How easy it is to hold so tightly to our individuality that we fail to see the lifegiving truth.

Thank you allowing me to view your divine nature.

Namaste

[Robin]

Your 12 Things should be listed as a disclaimer when you log into Blogger or Typepad or whatnot. Nicely said, Jane.

[Jayne]

Caroline: I am so glad this resonated with you (proving my point about how many commonalities we can find via this medium!) And Ruthie, yeah, she should have her own reality show; I'd get cable for that.

Mother: I love how you're using your blog to change the world, rock on!

Nino: You are so cute. You must have been pissed or at least pretty knackered when you wrote that, my dear ex pat friend.

Shephard: Aw, thanks. And you know I think you're the tits ; )

SBW: Ah, thank you for the flattery, it is all better already! And I rip off your ideas all the time too, so we're even (and one check finally came, so that's good.)

Pops: I sure hope we're friends because I have all my friends' names tattooed on my ass. I guess I could change it to "I heart Popsicles" but I'm running out of real estate.

Wendy: I know! I just do regret telling certain people (family) early on. Why did I do that?!

Coyote: Thank you so much for your beautiful words, my nature is not feeling so divine these days, but you are right.

Robin: Ha, maybe it's just something we all had to learn the hard way? I did get some good advice early on from other bloggers that probably saved me some heartache.

[Laurie]

Happy blog birthday!!!

I loved your list of what you've learned - I'm big on the paragraph breaks, too! LOL

[Pearl]

That was a lot of learning, and delight for one year.

I can relate to a lot of it.

Not the wish didn't hear. Oy. Or glad to hear. Maybe next year.

[Todd Elliott]

Happy blog birthday. Yeah, yeah, you're pretty, big boobs, all that. But can you sing the national anthem while standing on one foot, naked, holding a chicken?

I've enjoyed reading your blog this past little while. Keep it up, and I'll keep lurking.