Even More Mirth

I've not been myself for quite some time. A month? Longer? This is what happens when I disregard my spiritual life. I need to feel that connection to Source (God, Love, Joy whatever you want to call it) or else everything spirals down and dark and despairing.

I looked for some guidance in my Osho Zen Tarot deck and pulled this card (XVI in the Major Arcana, Thunderbolt). At first, my heart froze at the terrifying picture and description of a burning tower and people falling from the building, especially given my last post. These cards can be uncanny, which is why I suppose I use them. But then the remainder of the description was sort of comforting, at least what I am able to hear right now.

The card shows a tower being burned, destroyed, blown apart. A man and a woman are leaping from it not because they want to, but because they have no choice. In the background is a transparent, meditating figure representing the witnessing consciousness.

You might be feeling pretty shaky right now, as if the earth is rocking beneath your feet. Your sense of security is being challenged, and the natural tendency is to try to hold on to whatever you can.

But this inner earthquake is both necessary and tremendously important--if you allow it, you will emerge from the wreckage stronger and more available for new experiences.

After the fire, the earth is replenished; after the storm the air is clear. Try to watch the destruction with detachment, almost as if it were happening to somebody else. Say yes to the process by meeting it halfway.

- Osho Zen Tarot, by Osho

So my inner world might be exploding and shaking, but I just need to observe it, bear witness to the destruction and resurrection. Of Hope?

I don't know why my light's not on. Am I not plugged in right now? Did I blow a fuse? I am searching for that lost connection, checking all breakers.

In the meanwhile, I DID attend a lovely wedding in Calistoga over the weekend and I DO have some herbal infusions brewing. Recipes and pictures to follow by the end of October.

And this video of Keith Olberman railing on Bush's stance on torture, blaming Clinton for 9/11 etc. was encouraging.

Comments

[skydancer069]

I always thought it was "the calm before the storm", after reading this it seems the calm is after the storm. It is a chance to start new, with a clean slate, a chance to begin at the begining.
You do not lose yourself, you lose you way and from that we learn more about ourselves.

[Jayne]

Thanks, Skydancer! I appreciate your comment today.