Speed Balls

Now that I have my Junior Witch Starter Kit (consisting of about 4 ounces each of 80 different dried herbs, 190 proof organic grape alcohol, [shipped with haz mat papers!] dozens of books, jars, bottles and strainers galore) I am ready to start cooking!

I have several potions brewing (macerating, rather) for hormonal regulation, liver cleansing, digestion, pain relief, cramp relief, some infused oils for skin ailments, etc. I love it when the common names of certain herbs describe their function. Crampbark. Eyebright. Feverfew. Knitbone [aka comfrey]. Self-Heal. Lungwort. Doctors in Germany prescribe vitex (chaste berry - which I don't think really makes one chaste) extract to women for relieving PMS and regulating the monthly cycle, as it has a 80-90 % success rate, far greater than hormonal synthetics.

But my first completed herbal recipe has very little socially redeemable value, other than providing some legal herbal motivation to clean the house, get one focused, improve one's mood, etc. Speed Balls. This idea courtesy of famed American herbalists Michael Moore (no relation to the documentarian, you can find his free downloadable clinical manuals and recipes here) and Rosemary Gladstar.

Guarana seeds come from Brazil and are full of caffeine. Guarana is generally regarded as safe by the FDA and is often used in energy and weight loss supplements. Studies have found guarana can improve memory and endurance. I get my guarana (and all my dried herbs) from Mountain Rose Herbs, they rock.

Gladstar's recipe (Zoom Balls, from her wonderful Family Herbal book) - this yields about 60 Zoom Balls:

3 cups tahini (sesame nut butter) with excess oil drained from the top
1 cup almond or cashew butter
2 cups honey
5 oz. guarana powder
2 oz. Siberian ginseng powder
2 oz. kola nut powder
1 Tbs cardamom powder
1 oz. Asian ginseng powder
0.5 oz. nutmeg
2 oz. bee pollen
2 vials royal jelly
1 package chocolate chips
8 oz. unsweetened shredded coconut, lightly toasted
1 cup finely chopped almonds
Unsweetened cocoa powder
(optional - 2 lbs. dipping chocolate)

1. Mix the tahini, nut butter and honey until smooth. Combine the herbal powders, bee pollen and royal jelly and add to the tahini mix.
2. Add the chocolate chips, coconut and almonds and mix well. Mix in enough cocoa powder to bring the dough to the desired thickness.
3. Roll the dough into small balls and store in tins in a cool place (up to a few weeks) or you can dip the chilled balls into melted dipping chocolate first.

OR - Michael Moore's Guarana Fudge recipe: mix together and boil until thick 5 cups of brown sugar with 2.5 cups of milk and a little salt, remove it from the heat for 10 minutes, add a cube of sweet butter, then mix in 6 ounces of powdered Guarana Bean (and any other ground herbs you want) and stir constantly until the glistening surface starts to look like frosting and stiffens. Add nuts (if desired), scrape onto greased surface, cool until set, and cut.

I sort of combined the two recipes. I simmered some (didn't measure for this one, sorry) rice milk with a bit of honey, tahini, ghee (clarified butter), almond butter, then added a bunch of herbs for energy (guarana powder, ginseng powder, gotu kola, ginko powder, maca powder (also an aphrodisiac) and some curry powder for spice) and coconut and dark chocolate chips, thickening with cocoa powder and rolling into balls. A little sticky but delicious! And . . .

WARNING: As Michael Moore says, "This stuff tastes GREAT, but speeds like a mother."

Guarana is not recommended for long-term use, pregnant women, or for anyone who avoids caffeine.

Comments

[Chocoholic]

Sounds great. Can't wait to try it out. Thanks for the post.

[Jayne]

Yeah, it's almost as good as . . . spam!

[Neena]

Ooh! Thanks for the links! Oh, and I'm TOTALLY coveting your starter kit. I did plant some milk thistle seeds and they're poking their little heads up now. Cute.

Anyway, um, haven't got around to actually making the lotion but I do have all the stuff.

P.S. I wonder if you could use Everclear as a cheap alternative to organic grape alcohol. :-)

[Jayne]

That is cute about the milk thistle seedlings : ) I will grow stuff. One day . . . And yes, you can use Everclear (shudder - just dilute it - 50% of that, 50% distilled water) for your tinctures. You need at least 40% alcohol to preserve most tinctures. A good alternative = a 100 proof (50%) organic (of course) vodka or brandy. But 80 proof (40% alcohol) should be okay, too. And don't EVEN tell me you can get Everclear in Utah! If it's banned in CA, I'm surprised they even let you type the word in your state ; ) Here is a great link for how to make tinctures (until you crack that Green book . . .) http://www.sagemountain.com/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=29&theme=Printer

Oh and I just found these folks - they sell 100 proof organic alcohol (grain) that is cheaper than the grape stuff I bought http://herbaloutfitters.com/howbrew.html

But then again the other stuff is 190 proof and will thus be diluted and last longer (yes, I'm obsessed . . .) http://www.alcsol.com/index.html

[Shephard]

I wanna know what happens if you eat more than 2 Zoooooom-balls.
"Penny for a zoom-ball, Popeye." Oh, you may not get that quote from an old commercial. Sigh. lol They sound yummy. Wonder what would happen if you iced them and served them at a party? Wouldn't that be hilarious! "The guests left the party at midnight, and were last seen scaling Mt. Shasta with a cooler and a sun umbrella."

I think having a passion for herbs (or just about anything) is cool, Jayne. :)
~S

[Pearl]

Does sound tasty alright.

[Claire]

If you are in the UK, you can buy these herbs and other superfoods such as maca powder from http://www.naturallygreen.co.uk. I began using the maca powder a few months back and it's amazing. The effect it has had on my energy levels have been outstanding and its true what they say about boosting libido!. This really is a product I would recommend everyone try! They also do a wide range of herbal tinctures and will source those unusual hard to get herbs for you.

[vicodin]

oh my god...speedballs? lol

[Buy Fioricet Online]

Gee! Is this some sort of witch crafting? A little bit scary yet interesting!