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December 01, 2006

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SG

I wholeheartedly agree. It takes a lot of courage, but being true to yourself (and not being afraid of what anyone else thinks of that) is the single most freeing thing you can do. Go, Jayne!

Todd Elliott

Hell yeah. HELLS YEAH.

I decided the same thing long ago. It's a waste to spend too much time trying to please people that will never like you no matter what.

Fuck them.

SmartBlkWoman

Your back!!!

I think that it is harder for women to get the approval monkey off of our backs because we have been told for our entire lives that we are supposed to be nurturing and considerate, that this is our nature. So after years of conditioning to believe one thing it finally dawns (on some of us anyways) that is ok (and in our best interest) to leave all that people-pleasing bs alone and that we can put ourselves and our ideas first without feeling guilty about it.

Besides, who wants a milquetoast lawyer?

Pearl

Good message. :) And then there's the whole other factor of someone reporting that sort of thing is noticing that way to interpret and assemble pattern because the mood of the speaker at the time.

Theresa

I love the way you handled this situation. I'm also glad you shared the experience with us. It's always good to know that other people struggle with the same thing and get past it. I'm pretty sure that very few people learn the "everyone doesn't have to like me" lesson in grade school. Some people are just better at hiding their angst than others.

Michelle

Great post. Just because there are a few people that may not care for you or the way that you handle yourself, does not mean that there is anything wrong with you.

Jayne

Thanks, everyone! It is nice to know I'm not the only one who struggles with this. And yeah, I think women get this message more than men, possibly. Be pretty, be nice, be good . . . I'm so over it (today, anyway) ; )

wendy

Great post Jayne. It's been only in the last few years that I seem to have been able to ditch that approval monkey off my back. But, I slip from time to time. Dunno why, but every now and then I get this anxious twinge when I hear that someone, or realize that someone doesn't like me. Most often, it's my own in-laws .... you'd think after all this time, I'd GET IT -- and for the most part, I no longer care they don't like me, but every now and then ....... So see, you're not the only one.

Michael Bains

"... it's okay if not everyone likes me. I guess I'm a late bloomer ..."

Yah... Me too. It STILL gets me down when I'm not stickin' to all those steps in the 2nd to the last line. But I've finally started to ".. dance a little. Dance a lot", so life is less stressful and no doubt about it.

You being you, at least on your blog, has been a boon to me, Jayne. I can relate so well emotionally to so much of what you've written and, to see you growing and accepting yourself throughout your own evolution... That's just totally encouraging and mucho appreciado! {-;

Have fun on the road, and Give 'Em Hell, amiga! There're obviously alotta folks here "at home" who've got yer back.

Happy Holidays!

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