Checking In

Hello . . . ? Is this thing on? 

This Tennessee Williams quote keeps haunting me: “A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages.” And no, not just because Angelina Jolie has it tattooed on her arm.

A five month all-consuming distraction sucked me in and has just spit me out the other side. I'm a little bewildered, forever changed and better than ever. But I am in need of a long, hot shower.

For reasons I won't go into here, my heart is breaking. But I have realized that's okay. I am letting my heart break fully, openly, without defense or hope of rescue. I am no longer running from fear, pain, disapproval, anger. Even joy or love. I have been inviting it all in, meeting it fully. I have never felt more present.

I got a new tattoo - pictures once it's finished.

The family is moving up to southern Oregon soon. I hate where we currently live. This town is (ironically) called Paradise. Conservative, religious, retirement town. I'm not ready to retire. T will be fixing up the house here to put on the market while I move pretty soon. I am excited to live on my own for a while, get my head straight. In a community where I might fit in a little better than here.

I appreciate T so much. For giving me this time and space, for giving me a break. A sabbatical - from work, school, marriage, blogging, whatever you need a break from - can do wonders. Trust me.

Anyway, I think I'm ready to return here. We'll see. I can't wait to see who of my blogging buddies are still around, and what you are all up to!