Jayne Says

Search Over

I hardly know what to do with myself. For the past fifteen years, I have been on a spiritual quest. I have been straining--getting a cramp in my soul--as I chased after the elusive Bliss.

I had experienced moments of Enlightenment. One with everything, knowing myself as connected and unseparated from All That Is, feeling nothing but joy, love, truth and understanding. For a few seconds or minutes, before I tried to grasp onto that feeling, then lost it, then mourned the loss of it, and tried to get it back . . .

I have read so much--spiritual, religious, political, philosophical, psychological, sociological--all fascinating, to be sure. My search was to be happy. To unlock the secret.

I'm an over-achieving depressive; this quest for happiness has provided me with quite a goal for many years.

The blog (happy.blogs.com, anyone?) and documentary (yeah, um, one of these days) hundreds of hours and dollars on research, all spent in pursuit of this goal.

Struggling so fervently to avoid the pain.

I have been dense. The secret has been right in front of my nose all along. We are to experience pain. The suffering comes from denying, repressing (or indulging . . .) negative emotions. We are not to be happy or enlightened all the time, that is not the nature of the human emotional experience.

When the fear, anger, hatred, jealousy, pain, misery, comes, invite it. Meet it. Without postponement, without defense, without hope of rescue. Fully experience it, completely let go, without attaching a "story" to it (how big and scary it is, how it will never go away, etc.)

When you fully meet any emotion, open to it defenselessly, you will have no thoughts, no story. And in that meeting lies the secret. Freedom.

The Zen masters call this turning around and shaking hands with your demons. I had heard this before but not had it related in a way that was so simple and experiential that I got it.

Now I'm not much of a joiner, have scoffed at organized everything (have you seen how disorganized this blog is?) and a Guru? Fuhgetaboutit. When I sat and listened to Gangaji last weekend, though, something changed in me. A relief, a knowing, a stillness and awakening.

For me, the room glowed and buzzed with a high, fine energy [T did not experience this, though; he said she seemed like a nice person and that the meeting was like a class in "advanced navel gazing." Sometimes I hate him, but that's okay.] She said what I needed to hear. To stop searching, running, straining to avoid pain.

Try it, I dare you, the next time a negative emotion arises. Don't battle it, just turn your full attention to it, quiet your mind and experience it. It is amazing.

(And just because my mind and spirit are at peace does NOT mean you are off the hook from polar bear drowning!!)

Taming the Elephant

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time

- T.S. Elliot

It occurred to me this morning that I have spent the past year consuming one self-help or spiritual book after another in a frenzied, prolonged binge intended, I suppose, to induce enlightenment. I read six books over the past four weeks. I savored none of them.

I am stuffed. I am done reading. I have everything I need now to stop "learning" and begin listening. I am having an identity crisis, but the best kind. I feel as though the last two books I read began dismantling some of my self-delusions in earnest, and I am curious to see how I reassemble myself.

If you are on a spiritual journey, I will highly recommend these two books (links on my sidebar), A Hidden Wholeness, the Journey Toward an Undivided Life by Parker Palmer, and The Happiness Hypothesis, Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom, but Jonathan Haidt.

In A Hidden Wholeness, a graceful, quiet, gorgeously written book, Palmer discusses the pain of living a divided life (when we are not invested in our work, we remain in relationships or circumstances that kill our spirits, we harbor secrets to achieve personal gain at the expense of others, we hide our beliefs, etc.):

The divided life is a wounded life, and the soul keeps calling us to heal the wound. Ignore that call, and we find ourselves trying to numb our pain with an anesthetic of choice, be it substance abuse, overwork, consumerism, or mindless media noise. Such anesthetics are easy to come by in a society that wants to keep us divided and unaware of our pain--for the divided life that is pathological for individuals can serve social systems well, especially when it comes to those functions that are morally dubious.

Much of the book is dedicated to the practice of holding a "circle of trust" in which a person is truly heard (without advice, setting straight, fixing, etc.) in a way that invites the soul (our inner teachers) to speak our truths.

Palmer describes the soul as shy, similar to a wild animal. It needs silence, respect and honoring to reveal itself. The depth of community that is possible (and practiced) that Palmer describes makes my heart ache with a profound longing. It also made me realize how much I rush in to "fix" and "advise" instead of quietly listening to the wisdom of others. What arrogance!

The second book I recommend was quite insightful, comprehensive, mature and witty. I fancy myself somewhat of an armchair psychologist and am particularly interested in the [relatively] new field of positive psychology, which focuses on how humans may thrive instead of merely cataloging pathology.

I have conducted a considerable amount of research into happiness and am relieved to have found practically the definitive resource on the topic with Haidt's The Happiness Hypothesis. I dreaded picking up yet another book given my recent self-help bender but this was my last one. I sighed and wondered whether this would have anything for me in it. I opened the book to the first page, the dedication page, which simply says, "For Jayne." I laughed and took that as good a sign as any.

Weaving together psychological, sociological, biological, philosophical and spiritual principles throughout the ages and including the most provocative modern studies, Haidt illustrates clear ways to increase one's happiness and illuminates how most wisdom in these matters has been repeated by just about every school of thought from the Bible to Greek philosophers, from Hindu teachings to Dr. Phil.

The enduring metaphor Haidt employs regarding our sense of self is that of a rider on an unruly elephant, where the rider is our relatively recently developed logical, reasoning, consciously controlled thought and the elephant represents everything else.

The elephant includes the gut feelings, visceral reactions, emotions, and intuitions that comprise much of the automatic system. The elephant and the rider each have their own intelligence, and when they work together well they enable the unique brilliance of human beings. But they don't always work together well.

Haidt goes on to describe and explain our frustrations at failing to maintain self-control, among other "failures" when our elephants aren't tamed. The results of some of the cited studies, particularly about how thoroughly and convincingly we delude ourselves to justify our behavior, hypocrisy and positions are fascinating.

There is just so much in this book; I had so many "ah-ha" moments . . . and one watershed realization that I am not such a big loser when it comes to self-discipline. I just need to spend some time taming my unconscious mind, like everyone else.

If human behavior and increasing your happiness and the quality of your life and experiences interest you, I'm going to call this one a must-read. I will be returning to the principles in this book more specifically soon, I am sure.

Particularly now that I am DONE reading (these kinds of books anyway) for a good long while.

Born Again (and Again and Again) - Part 2

Last month, I asked readers who might be curious about my take on reincarnation to ask questions. I received several great questions, which I am finally ready to answer. First, I will summarize my beliefs on this topic, then I will get to the questions.

Obviously, my beliefs are my own. I am not the least bit attached to how they are received. I am not trying to "sell" or "force" anything on anyone, quite the contrary. I bring up these topics to spur discussion, so that we may all have a greater collective understanding of our human existence. Also, my beliefs are fluid and subject to change as I obtain more information, so I welcome any open-minded comments.

My favorite scene in a movie evokes the collective mythology or mythos. *Spoiler alert* Towards the end of The Matrix, Neo is being chased through the city by the three Agents. As he reaches an exit to return to the real world aboard the Nebuchadnezzar, he is shot in the chest by Agent Smith and slumps over, apparently dead.

In the real world, Trinity refuses to accept Neo’s death, and whispers into his ear that she loves him, and that the Oracle told her that the man she would fall in love with would be the One. Neo’s heart beats again, and he reawakens in the Matrix. At this moment he fully understands the artificial nature of the Matrix, and sees it as lines of streaming green code: he finally becomes “The One.” The Agents shoot at him, but he stops their bullets in mid-air and effortlessly blocks Agent Smith’s attacks.

He then apparently destroys agent Smith and the other two Agents flee, Neo returns to the real world in time to save the ship from the Sentinels. A short epilogue shows him back in the Matrix, making a telephone call promising that he will be leading the fight against the Machines. He hangs up and flies up into the sky.

I believe that eventually in each of our soul’s evolutions, we realize we are in the Matrix of our own creation. The “laws” of physics become fuzzier as we fully engage in the more energetic laws of the universe, energy, The Field and intention. We are able to fully realize (bring in to being, not merely understand) our soul dreams and purpose. We are able to draw to us what we need and want, and effortlessly play with the wondrous reality we have chosen. We understand that we are all “The One” and, like Neo, we can fly.

The core tenets of my belief system, developed through reading, study and experiential knowledge (having been raised a heathen, so this is all jury-rigged), can be summarized as follows:

• We humans are engaged in a complex game--or school--of physical existence, that we have collectively chosen, the Matrix.

• Every single “thing” in the Universe, including each person, is an expression of the limitless, infinite Tao (God, Spirit, Unified Field, All That Is.)

• In other words, we are all God, choosing to experience an individuated, seemingly separate, physical reality.

• There is no personified, external God “out there.” We are all manifestations of the Infinite.

• We humans contain an infinite essence or core, the soul, which persists after our physical body dies.

• When we are newly incarnate on Earth, we begin our cycle of lifetimes, spending several lifetimes as an infant soul, then a baby soul, a young soul, a mature soul, then an old soul.*

• Some souls choose to continue their teachings on Earth after they have completed their old soul cycles and attained enlightenment. These “infinite” souls, or “Bodhisattvas” are awakened, enlightened masters who choose to stay in the world to teach others. Jesus, the Buddha, many others, are examples of such infinite souls. These souls are available to us to emulate or learn from directly, still.

• When a new soul is needed, it is cast from the infinite Tao. When we have finished our soul’s evolution, we return to the infinite Tao. There is no need to mathematically account for all persons who have lived before. As the population grows, more new souls are cast from the Tao.

• Each person re-incarnates as many times as is necessary for each soul’s inevitable evolution.

• We pick up lessons, incur and pay off karma (a major violation of another person that limits his choices, resulting in a compelling debt) and make soul agreements each lifetime, and use this knowledge in later lifetimes.

• Each of us belongs to an “entity” comprised of about 1,000 souls. These are the people we work with lifetime after lifetime. People we meet for the first time and immediately “recognize” and feel like we have known “forever.”

• Each soul “fragment” (what we are when we are separated from the Tao) can complete its evolution in roughly 5,000 years (in over 120 lifetimes, with over 3,000 years spent physically incarnate.)

• We “hang out” for many years in between lifetimes as souls, gathering with our entity mates, planning our personalities, families, mates, making agreements, waiting for the right circumstances to be born into.

• When we incarnate, we usually choose to forget our past lifetimes.

• Many of our lifetimes are brutal and short. Some are “notable.” All are perfect. No soul age or lifetime is “better” than another. We are all on the same path towards learning love and compassion.

• We can be a girl’s mother in one lifetime, the same soul’s husband in another, a son or business partner in another. We can be raped one lifetime and have our rapist castrated the next. Many humans put entirely too much attention on gender identification, which is irrelevant at a soul level.

• No organized religion created by humans is the “One” religion. To the extent any religion is exclusive and requires an intermediary of a church or clergy for “enlightenment,” that religion is limited.

• Philosophical Taoism, with its abstract, playful, seemingly ungraspable (if we try to grasp it) “truths” is the closest, least adulterated description of how we can hope to relate to one another while incarnate. We can be receptive, open, flexible, centered, like a large stone in a busy, noisy stream, yet we can join the stream in a spontaneous movement if appropriate.

• We have chosen physicality. To deny the body or the earth while we are incarnate is missing the point. We must engage in our bodies, in physicality. We must steward the earth and its animals, plants, soil and waters as expressions of our love and compassion.

• Western Judeo-Christian teachings about man having “dominion” over the earth, and that we can hope to leave the earth for an external “heaven” far removed from the “sinful” planet if we behave ourselves, creates a toxic mindset for the planet. For if we are so eager to escape and cycle off the planet (where an “end of days” is coming anyway) any stewardship is akin to the futility of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

• Similarly, many Eastern and New Age religions and philosophies espouse an eagerness to deny the “baseness” of physicality. In many of these traditions, we are encouraged to meditate, deprive ourselves of physical comfort, and try to attain enlightenment (and cycling off the planet) as quickly as possible.

• We have chosen to be here. We have much to learn from and teach one another. Our physicality is ours to play with and enjoy, and sometimes endure.

• That said, we are brought closer to our Infinite natures when we take time to quiet our minds and meditate or spend receptive, relaxed time in nature.

• We have chosen to experience both the mythos and logos in human existence. Mythos in concerned with intuition, insight, archetypes, creation stories, and the meaning and significance of our lives. In mythology, practicality, physics, linear time and logic are irrelevant. Artistic endeavors, such as poetry and sculpture, that strike a deep chord and resonate within us, evoke the intuitive insight of mythos. Collective rituals and ceremonies can turn myth into a religious experience.

• Logos, however, refers to objective, pragmatic, rational, empirical rules of living. We are familiar with logos, which governs our scientific pursuits, governments and laws.

• In modern western culture, we have all but killed off mythos. As a result, many of us are depressed and seek psychoanalysis and antidepressants to fill the void previously met by mythology and a meaningful spiritual life.

• What we have forgotten is that both mythos and logos, both the right and the left brains, both logic and intuition, yin and yang, are necessary to a satisfying collective human experience.

• Although both mythos and logos are necessary, they are distinct and disaster ensues when we try to apply logic to myth, and inject myth or religion into pursuits that should be governed by logic and objective truths.

• I believe a good model for a civilization is to have a secular, representative government based upon human rights of freedom, equality, privacy, fairness and dignity. This government must attend to the logos (while always maintaining its highest secular values and ideals in mind) and must not legislate or in any other way impose any religious or mythological beliefs on the governed. (An example of this would be anti-abortion laws. Because there are religious differences of opinion regarding when life begins, and because we must protect the religious freedoms of all, including atheists and those who believe life/ensoulment begins at birth, the government, even if it is the majority, must protect all citizens, especially the minorities, from the tyranny of majority opinion. Those are the ideals which founded our country and which are being eroded by fundamentalism.)

• Individuals within this system must take personal responsibility for their own mythos and spiritual growth and evolution. We must wake up and steward our planet, stem the biggest threats to our planet, both physically (such as over-population) and spiritually (such as the alarming rise of religious fundamentalism and the erosion of secular ideals.)

• If we keep our highest ideals in mind both during our private, spiritual lives, such as striving for “agape” (unconditional love and acceptance) as well as during our public, political lives, such as striving for freedom and equality, we will individually and collectively improve our lot in life.

• However, the key is positively “owning” the fact that we have chosen to be here, incarnate. No person, external God, relationship, government, mommy or daddy, material object or wealth will swoop down to save us. We each hold the key to our own awakening, and we can choose to unlock our self-imposed cages and be free.

*For more information on soul ages, including notable personalities and their soul ages and a bibliography, etc., I have written a longer response here:

Download jayne_believes1.htm

And now your questions:

Okay, I have a question for you. As a practicing philosophical Taoist, I'm unfamiliar with an intersection between Taoism and reincarnation (not that this is significant). I've always considered the latter to be tied to Hindu and Buddhist philosophy. How does Taoism and reincarnation intersect for you?

Posted by:  The Rambling Taoist |  February 23, 2006 at 05:11 PM

Rambling Taoist: As more fully set forth above, while I believe in reincarnation, I do not fully subscribe to any of the traditional religions espousing that belief, including the Hindu and Buddhist religions/philosophies. While I believe that some of those teachings (particularly those advocating loving compassion, mindfulness and meditation) are beneficial, I disagree with many Eastern philosophies' rejection of physicality, as if our bodies are something bad from which to escape.

I am just beginning to learn about philosophical Taoism, which is your specialty. However, channeled information that I deem interesting if not provable, has indicated that this human philosophy comes closest to accurately understanding and expressing our relationship to the Tao, ourselves and one another. I do not know of any "traditional" intersection or nexus between reincarnation and Taoism. I look forward to learning more and taking your book recommendations into serious consideration.

I always consider this topic very personal and hard to share because on the one hand, people want proof that reincarnation is real and refuse to believe in it without this proof, while AT THE SAME TIME, they accept all that is written in their religious texts blindly. Then you have the empirical thinkers who simply want proof. So I applaud your sharing. I don't think Americans esp. understand that MOST of the people on the planet believe in reincarnation in some form or another.

I think you should share the purpose of going from life to life (evolving), and the myriad ways in which these choices teach each other (ie... why there is value in a life as a retarded person, etc).

And while you're at it, explain that not all of us believe in transmigration (animals to human to animals). :)

~S

Posted by:  Shephard |  February 24, 2006 at 08:32 AM

Shephard: Okay! I think I covered your concerns (logos versus mythos and the necessity for each, how each lifetime is perfect) except the transmigration one. I personally do not believe that most animals (save dolphins and whales) are "ensouled" in the way that humans choose to be. I do not believe I will be reincarnated as an ant if I really fuck up this lifetime. But I could be entirely wrong. However, I strongly believe that part of our collective evolution of striving towards unconditional love (agape) includes compassion and rights for our animal companions, such that they not be subjected to cruelty, torture, enslavement and overly restrictive captivity.

I need to find something to believe in. That is all.

Posted by:  Edge |  February 24, 2006 at 09:41 AM

Edge: Me, too.

What's the purpose of it? Why do we need it? What's wrong with just dying?

Posted by:  Popeye |  February 24, 2006 at 12:18 PM

Popeye: The purpose of it is so we don't sink into despair due to our insignificance and the seeming meaninglessness and futility of our short, brutish and nasty lives. We need meaning and context in our lives if we are truly in the pursuit of happiness/contentment/enlightenment. Of course, many of us will choose atheism and despair for many lifetimes, so that we may understand and have compassion for those experiences.

I have had people from all faiths tell me that they believe their belief just because it "feels right", that they "know that they know that they know." That is about the way I feel about reincarnation. I am eccentric in my beliefs, but I do believe in reincarnation.
Some people have told me they think that all the people you encounter in this life are the same spirits you encounter in all your lives... Do you think this is the truth? Also, men always return as men, and women as women... What do you think?
I can't say that I know how I think on those topics...

Posted by: Amethyst Rising |  February 24, 2006 at 10:14 PM

Amethyst: You are like me in that way, content with an intuitive knowledge and a belief system that "makes sense." As stated above, I believe we tend to "travel around" lifetime to lifetime with the same cast of characters, our entity mates, and that everyone with a significant role in our lives has agreed to be there with and for us for one reason or another. And I believe we switch genders between lifetimes without a second's thought!

I had never heard the term Reiki until I read it here. Since then I have read about it on Wikipedia and have a general idea what it is. I would like to know your interpretation of it. Also, how is your life - your day-to-day living - affected by your belief in reincarnation? What sort of experiences have you had that lead you to believe? You didn't put a limit on the number of questions, so... Are you aware (at some spiritual level) of previous lives you have had?

That's all... Amended [later]: I just read your 100 Jayne Factoids which answered one of my questions. #74. "I believe I have been a man, a warrior, for many lifetimes."
But if you want to elaborate, that would be cool.

Posted by:  Dick The Boomer |  February 25, 2006 at 09:06 AM

Dick: I think I bit off more than I could chew with this post in throwing Reiki into the mix. That will be for another day but I will keep your question in mind. I read the Wikipedia entry, quite amusing. This is a good example of young scholars trying to make sense of forces that "work" but they can't see.

My day to day life is influenced by my belief in reincarnation in that (when I remember it) this thought system helps me to have more compassion for EVERYONE I meet. Oh, that politician, he's just embroiled in a young soul power play, incurring a lot of karma this lifetime . . . and it helps me understand that "click" of recognition when I meet someone for the "first" time. And it helps me understand why not everyone is on the same page with their life's focus. Why some lives are awful and short, why some people live seemingly effortless lives.

Like I wrote earlier, I did visit with a channel several times (Emily Baumbach) who changed in a physically visible way when she channeled (you probably wouldn't believe me if I elaborated) and explained some lifetimes to me that resonated. Especially in relation to some important people in my life, the explanations made sense and were comforting to me.

Yes, when she told me how many lifetimes I had been a man, a warrior, and was trying out being a woman this life time, I had to laugh. That felt so true, even though I am generally soft spoken and "appear" feminine on the outside, I feel very Alpha Male on the inside, it is strange sometimes. Most of the lifetimes she described made sense in a way. I would have been suspicious if she had said I was Catherine The Great or something ; )

So.....Jaynie, when you were the warrior dude, how did you treat women? Just wonderin'.

Posted by:  Edge |  February 27, 2006 at 05:44 AM

Edge: Great question! You know, I had lifetimes when I was awful to both men and women. I have raped and murdered and plundered and enslaved and have more blood on my hands than many. Which is why I am spending so many of my later lifetimes being a warrior FOR the disadvantaged, the battered, the environment, to protect our civil rights. Just paying it back, trying to be a karmic hero . . .

Along the line of Amethyst....Do you believe that people come back as people? Or are animals in your mix? I generally (meaning like 85%) believe in reincarnation too. It's just makes sense to me somehow. But I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility that it's just silliness (that's the other 15%). But I wonder about population explosions...if we're being recycled, are we splitting? are new souls being created? or is this where animals come in? am i an extinct monkey? ;)

Posted by: V |  February 27, 2006 at 10:39 AM

V: I generally think we reincarnate as people, though some teachings (that I'm not sure about) say cetaceans (dolphins and whales) are included in there. I applaud your skepticism. We need that healthy skeptic in our minds, that discernment. Like I wrote earlier, I believe the Tao is infinite and casts out as many souls as are needed, as many people as are being born. I, too, hold the possibility in my mind that it is silliness, that we just die and turn to dust and that's okay. I believe we must develop both sides of our brain, use our intuition and go with what "works" and "seems right" at an experiential and subconscious level, while holding tight to our rational minds and inner skeptics and not slipping into some fantasy land.

Whew! If you read this far, I thank you. I owe you; I'll gladly pay you next lifetime for a gardenburger today . . .

Born Again (and Again and Again)

I believe in reincarnation. I have had . . . experiences that provided me with enough of an experiential "knowledge" that this reality is true for me. I will elaborate later (like it or not.) I believe Jesus taught about reincarnation. I am, loosely speaking, a Taoist. Maybe that means I'm a good Taoist. (Probably not. I'm more of a lazy Taoist; throw in the Taoist. . .)

For a relatively small window of time (until Tuesday night, February 28th) I will take any questions you have about reincarnation, (as I see it) Taoism and my spiritual beliefs and experiences. I will also answer any questions about Reiki. Where do all those souls come from? What about animals? How does God fit in? What is the meaning of life? Why am I here? What is Reiki? How does it work? Why do you write about spiritual matters when you only induce a cringefest?

Any and all questions. I will respond on Wednesday. I will respond to each question to the same level of seriousness I believe it was written (yes, I'm talking to you.)

I have to begin preparations on The Case (oral argument in front of the court of appeal early next week.) But I will still check in a bit this week because I'm compulsive that way. So I will see you around. This lifetime or the next . . .

Living the Dream in My Heart - Part 1

What happens to a dream deferred? (by Langston Hughes)

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

[Disclaimer: Some bloggers make it a point to avoid religion or politics in the posts. I respect this. I don't understand it, but I respect it. I am here to fill that void. I write what moves me, whether it is ice cream, impeaching Bush, movies I like, or inducing a cringefest by discussing my personal spiritual beliefs. I even become the irReverent Jayne and post an occasional Sunday Sermon when the mood strikes. If any of these topics makes you uncomfortable, I am sorry. Come back (or don't) on another day. I ignore your sports posts and return to you when you have regained your senses ; ) So, just so we are clear, I will not shy away from any topic that moves me. In fact, I'll go after it, shine a light on it, and invite you to have a look-see. There is more to life than the superficial, and why we don't have more public dialog about the real, important issues baffles me. This may be a cringe-inducing post for some but you know what? I'm not going to censor or wring my hands or tiptoe around. I like to STOMP on eggshells. Consider yourself forewarned.]

Exactly one year ago today, I began my new life. I had been managing attorney at a small non-profit law firm, working in an exciting field. Except the hours were insane, the management pressures heavy, and my body was wearing down from the constant travel demands. I relegated what was left of "me" (not to mention "us") to a small corner of myself, neglected, to nurture one of these days.

Sure I had dreams, interests, even passions, and I vowed I would pursue them "some day." And the years passed, dreams deferred, snooze button hit.

Around the beginning of last year, I came across a book called The Messiah Seed, by Story Waters. It was well reviewed on one of the Listmania list of self-help or spiritual books or whatever I had been looking at on Amazon. The book isn't about Jesus or any external Messiah who will come to save us. The premise of the book is that we are all part of the larger . . . Tao, I guess, and we all are basically experiencing our Tao (or God, or Source, pick whatever word leaves you feeling less squeamish) as separate beings, but that we are all really connected, all One. And we are our own Messiahs, in terms of unlocking the truth and potential within ourselves.

One of the passages spoke to me so deeply and directly, and rattled me to the core. An internal switch flipped on; all I could say was "Yes!" I read this aloud to many people close to me, and the basic response was similar to "That's nice, dear. Good luck." So obviously not everything resonates the same with everyone . . . and that is perfect, that is the beauty of each of our own paths, choices, free-will.

Here part of the passage that shook me up and inspired me to take direct, immediate action to change my life:

Realize and Release Your Dream. "I choose to live my dream in this lifetime."

Messiah, you are not alone. Do not fear that you are alone in your state of being, for you are not. Face your fears; face your Self. And, when you wake up, you will see  that you are in a world of Messiahs, each with a purpose as grand and special as your own. Realize this so that you may step into the dream in your heart, your soul dream. Release the dream into your being and live it, for that is joy, and that is the experience of Heaven. Know that Heaven is a state of being within you; one that calls to be realized in this lifetime and not in some distant future.

Realize into reality what you feel it can be. Know that to realize something is to release it into being, and not merely to understand it intellectually. To realize something is to be it. Realization is not a state of intellectual truth; it is the bringing into being of your Light. To know is to realize is to feel; is to experience with all your being. Feel what you experience with all your being and you will feel All That You Are, and that is God.

Know that the dream in your heart is there for only one reason: for you to live it and be All That You Are. It is possible to live the dream in your heart. To do so you must simply step out of your own way. The only thing that separates you from your dream is the belief that it is not possible. Know that your soul dream is possible and you will instantaneously start to experience it unfolding. Allow your Self to experience your dream unfolding.

I gave my 2 week notice soon thereafter. I realized the dream in my heart had to do with making films. I had applied to UCLA film school nearly 20 (!) years ago and didn't get in. So I went to another UC school, got into environmental studies and law and then law school and on this strange and wonderful path of strengthening both my left and right brains. And I regret none of it. But the dream was still there.

I clearly recall bounding up the stairs a year ago, waking up The Pilot like I was a child on Christmas morning. It was one of the happiest days in my life. "I know what the dream in my heart is! I want to pursue it! Let's do this!" T had also always wanted to make films; he wasn't as excited at the documentary aspect, but agreed to learn the craft, we'd get the necessary equipment, start a production company, start pre-production. He could cut his teeth so we could later make, I don't know, maybe zombie movies or something.

And so we did. The company, the equipment, the software, I researched like mad, took a crash home course in documentary and film making, and outlined the footage and interviews I hoped to get. A few wonderful loyal clients decided to come with me when I left my firm, so I would still have some good consulting work (but not too much) to pay the bills. I had created the perfect conditions to succeed in my new life. High-paying (but very part time) day job in a field I still loved, to fund my artistic dream. I have worked hard for ten years to be able to set up this exact lifestyle, and I was finally ready.

But then, something (well several events, external and internal) happened. I have hardly picked up the camera in a year.

- End of Part 1 -

About Blooming Time

Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.  ~Mark Twain

Yesterday, a clear, strong voice in my dream awakened me suddenly. "Jayne Wolf," it announced (although stating my real name) "it is Bloom." A cryptic command, a baffling alarm.

A few weeks ago, I meditated on how to reclaim my joy. I drew a card from the Osho Zen Tarot. (Sorry, in Northern California, there's woo-woo in the water, I can't help it.) The way I pull a card is I get very quiet and relaxed. I close my eyes and spread the deck face down in my hands. I shuffle through them until I feel a card "buzz" or heat up. It's hard to explain. But something "clicks" and that's the message I need. Here's what I drew. Queen of Rainbows, Flowering:

The commentary states: The Queen of Rainbows is like a fantastic plant that has reached the apex of its flowering and its colors. She is very sexual, very alive, and full of possibilities. She snaps her fingers to the music of love, and her zodiac necklace is placed in a way that Venus lies over her heart. The sleeves of her garment contain an abundance of seeds, and as the wind blows the seeds will be scattered to take root where they may. She is not concerned whether they land on the soil or on the rocks - she is just spreading them everywhere in sheer celebration of life and love. Flowers fall on her from above, in harmony with her own flowering, and the waters of emotion swirl playfully beneath the flower on which she sits.

You might feel like a garden of flowers right now, showered with blessings from everywhere. Welcome the bees, invite the birds to drink your nectar. Spread your joy around for all to share.

Zen wants you living, living in abundance, living in totality, living intensely - not at the minimum as Christianity wants you, [this deck has a strong anti-Christianity bias] but at the maximum, overflowing.  Your life should reach to others. Your blissfulness, your benediction, your ecstasy should not be contained within you like a seed. It should open like a flower and spread its fragrance to all and sundry - not only to the friends but to the strangers too.

This is real compassion, this is real love: sharing your enlightenment, sharing your dance of the beyond.

Yes, this is the answer. I believe (and hope) this is the person locked inside of me.

Only . . . I seem to have misplaced the key. Or is it that I need to get all Matrix-y and remember there is no lock? I have a feeling the key (and the lock) involves radical forgiveness.

I know it is my choice. Another [the same?] voice told me it could be easy if I didn't make it hard. Why do I hold on to things that no longer exist--show them to me--and do not make me happy? Why do I keep myself (and others) in a low dark bondage when freedom (for us all) is a matter of an internal choice, a decision. Just like that. Easy if I don't make it hard.

Perhaps Bloom[e?] has awakened me so that I may emit the crushed violet's fragrance and thus be free to unfold and flower.

Belief Beyond Reason

A day late with my Sunday Sermon, but it is a holiday, so I get a pass. I am feeling a little melancholy today. Looking back at 2005, and being reminded how much it "sucked monkeyballs" (as described by the poetical Popeye in his wonderful "Retro-spect-ive") it is hard not to feel overcome with despair. That's just a part of life, isn't it?

He who has not despaired has no need to have lived. (Goethe)

When in this mood, I always like to turn to despair.com for a good "demotivator" to sum it all up (This one says Despair: It's Always Darkest Just Before It Goes Pitch Black):

But then I start to laugh. And as long as I can still laugh, maybe there's hope after all?

Hope [is] a state of mind, not a state of the world. Either we have hope within us or we don't; it is a dimension of the soul; it's not essentially dependent on some particular observation of the world or estimate of the situation. Hope is . . .an orientation of the spirit, an orientation of the heart; it transcends the world that is immediately experienced and is anchored somewhere beyond its horizons.

Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously headed for early success, but, rather, an ability to work for something because it is good, not just because it stands a chance to success. The more unpropitious the situation in which we demonstrate hope, the deeper that hope is. Hope is definitely not the same as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. . . [t]his hope, above all, [gives] us the strength to live and continually to try new things, even in conditions that seem as hopeless as ours do, here and now. (Vaclav Havel, An Orientation of the Heart, from The Impossible Will Take a Little While)

The movie Serenity should not have been made. The television show Firefly was canceled unceremoniously not long after it aired. However, creator/director Joss Whedon would not let it die. Although he wondered aloud at what point CPR turns into necrophilia, he would not let the Firefly 'verse go.

In his introduction to the film Serenity [one of the special features on the DVD--guess what I watched last night?] Whedon said: "Failed TV shows don't get made into movies unless the cast, the creator and the fans believe beyond reason."

The film resonates because it looks to the past (with western-style elements) and the future (it is a science fiction space movie) and highlights present (and eternal) themes such as apathy, free will and individuality versus assimilation. The main villain in the movie (other than apathy) is the Operative, who is sworn to protect, but turns out to have been refined to a lethal force.

Whedon's political parallel is clear and deliberate. "There's no question that apathy, and just letting things happen, has really hurt this country," Whedon says. "There was a time when people looked at government and the Constitution as this extraordinary living thing, and the country itself depended on the difference between good and evil." [What, you haven't seen this movie yet?!]

Whedon understands the power of hope, believing "beyond reason."

Eff reason, I say, what has it done for me lately?

[H]ope is not the same as optimism. Optimism adopts the role of the spectator who surveys the evidence in order to infer that things are going to get better. Yet we know that the evidence does not look good. The dominant tendencies of our day are unregulated global capitalism, racial balkanization, social breakdown, and individual depression. Hope enacts the stance of the participant who actively struggles against the evidence in order to change the deadly tides of wealth inequality, group xenophobia, and personal despair. Only a new wave of vision, courage and hope can keep us sane--and preserve the decency and dignity requisite to revitalize our organizational energy for the work to be done. To live is to wrestle with despair yet never to allow despair to have the last word. (Cornel West, Prisoners of Hope, from The Impossible Will Take a Little While)

What do you think, Beloveds? Can we do it? Can we shake off this apathy and despair? Can we believe beyond reason and evidence? Can we thaw out, soften, laugh, think and meaningfully talk again, and take action to make this world a better place?

I think I can, but I can't do it alone. Happy (Hopey) New Year, Beloveds. Is this the year when we awaken and live the dreams that have been quietly unfolding in our hearts?

Are our lives like a canceled TV show--initial promise from the pilot, a couple of fans, but then fizzling out into oblivion? Or do we believe beyond reason that we can fulfill our dreams, make our lives into a fabulous, enriching, meaningful feature-length event? Is this the year when we reclaim our country, our lives and our Spirits?

I sure hope so. I'll stock up on popcorn, just in case.

Comfort and Joy

Merry Christmas, Beloveds. This morning I am not celebrating the birth of Christ, but the potential awakening of all humanity. (Don't ask why this drives me, it just does. Some people blog about sports, some about politics, some about sex, but for some reason, Jayne needs to blog about Spirit, but only on Sundays . . . See my Fictitiously Asked Questions (FAQ) if you want to know more about these little Sunday Sermons.)

Back to the birth of Christ--many religious scholars theorize that:

• Jesus wasn't born in the Bethlehem that is south of Jerusalem, but instead was born in Bethlehem, Galilee, much closer to Nazareth (which is about 65 miles North of Jerusalem). (map from here, click on picture to enlarge. Note - Bethlehem Galilee isn't on this map, but is described elsewhere as 10 km northwest of Nazareth.)
• Jesus' birthday is sometimes calculated as early April, near Passover rather than the dead of Winter, and sometimes as late September, 2 BC.
• Christians appropriated the pagan (Roman) celebration of Saturnalia, and tacked on December 25 as the birth of Jesus to coincide with the pre-existing winter solstice feast.
• There have been too many mistranslations of Hebrew (Reed Sea, not Red Sea, Mary was a "young woman," not a "virgin") to render the mythical Biblical stories as historically accurate.

If you want to really go down the rabbit hole with historical Jesus, read Jesus Lived in India (in my sidebar). The practice of holy men following omens and signs to find the latest reincarnated spiritual leader, usually when the child is around two years old, not newborn, is still followed today (Dali Lama, anyone?)

But you know, the more I research religious history, the more I realize its striking similarities to the legal profession. There is no absolute external Truth, is there? There are only beliefs, theories and arguments. And enough varying facts, data, "experts," statistics, cases, examples, analogies, metaphors, scriptural passages, archaeological evidence, emotionally appealing (or repelling) rhetoric to support whatever it is you choose to believe. Shoot the arrow first, then draw the circle around it -- bulls-eye, every time!

Another thing. There is no such thing as a person's absolute "character." So says Malcolm Gladwell, in the popular and provocative book I just finished, The Tipping Point. (I know, I know, I read too much!) We tend to overestimate the false idea of "character" and ignore the small environmental and social impacts that can make a "good" person do "bad" things and vice-versa.

Crime plummeted in New York after a massive clean-up of the graffiti on the subways and enforcement of fare-beating. According to the "broken window" theory in criminology, people with criminal tendencies are more likely to commit crimes when there are low-level signs of neglect in a community. Broken windows, aggressive panhandlers, etc. "invite" criminal behavior. People assume nobody is in charge, nobody cares, and anarchy is one natural response. Address these little environmental issues, let those with criminal tendencies know their actions are being watched and violations enforced, and crime drops dramatically.

Seminary students told to give a lecture on the "good Samaritan" parable will literally step over people in distress if they are told they are a little late to give their sermon. Children taking tests do not fall into clean groups of "cheaters" and "non-cheaters." Whether or not a child will cheat on a test depends on a variety of social, environmental variables.

Apparently, people behave (become actually "better" people) and perform better if their environments are cleaner and more organized.  (Note to self. . .)

Character, according to Gladwell, is not what we think it is, or, rather, what we want it to be.

[Character] isn't a stable, easily identifiable set of closely related traits, and it only seems that way because of a glitch in the way our brains are organized. Character is more like a bundle of habits and tendencies and interests, loosely bound together and dependent, at certain times, on circumstance and context. The reasons that most of us seem to have a consistent character is that most of us are really good at controlling our environment.

This idea gives me hope for humanity . . . and myself. We are all capable of pretty much the full spectrum of human experience and actions, from the most brutal violence to unimaginable loving service and sacrifice. If you think you are not, I submit you have held both your environment and imagination in impossibly tight reign.

If we understand which contexts and environments encourage our more positive human traits, we can choose to create those environments in our lives.

Are you a hostile, warm, fiercely independent, dependent, aggressive, dominant, passive, light-hearted, overly serious, optimistic, depressive, bitchy, patient, sweet, cruel, loving, profound, banal, insightful, vapid, sensual, repressed, caring, apathetic, deep, superficial, irreverent, spiritual person like me?

Do you, too, possess a bundle of seemingly contradictory traits and tendencies, making you rock life's pendulum back and forth, depending on the situation, between being a "good" person and a "bad" person (if only in your own head)?

Perhaps you can join me in Rejoicing today - Ahhh, I am human, this is normal, you are just like me. Sure, we can strive to be "better," or to better control our environments, and I hope that we do those things. But mostly, I hope we can release our need for absolute, mutually exclusive, either/or Truth regarding any external reality, including our own natures. 

I hope you all find Comfort and Joy this Christmas Day. I hope you are gentle and forgiving with yourselves. If you have told yourself you are a "bad" person lately, I hope you can remember the context, the environment, the triggers, and work to change those instead of punishing yourself. You are not the least bit "bad," Beloveds.

You are the Hero of your own story, the innocent child, the Light and the Way. Do you honestly doubt you are anything less?

Imagine No Religion

I am squeaking today's Sunday Sermon in under the wire at this late hour, as we just returned from a weekend trip. If you want more information about Sunday Sermons with the irRev. Jayne, check out my Fictitiously Asked Questions (FAQ). [I recognize that spirituality in blogs can be a bit cringe-inducing. Sometimes, my "sermons" will be more snarky and entertaining, sometimes, like today, they will be more serious. This topic moves me, I will continue to write about it, but just once a week, on Sundays. This blog is chock full of profanity on other days, not to worry ; ) . . .]

I am reading and enjoying a new book, God Without Religion, by Sankara Saranam. His writing resonates with me, because he criticizes the politics, wealth and exclusivity (which leads to division and hatred of those with different faiths) of organized religion as well as the intellectual dishonesty that can be found in the New Age community.

Here is an excerpt from that book:

Not to engage in this pursuit of ideas
is to live like ants instead of like men.
—Mortimer J. Adler

In today's complex world, many people are beginning to examine their religious beliefs in light of their longing for a more meaningful sense of God. Some individuals, while asking challenging questions about the religious beliefs handed down to them in childhood, are uncovering seedbeds of prejudice and divisiveness. Others, exploring New Age spiritual movements, are finding many to be as dogmatic as organized religions. People dissatisfied with dogma and prejudice change radically when they turn inward for direct knowledge of God.

Two steps are involved in preparing to seek direct knowledge of God. The seeker's first step is to assess his reliance on beliefs instilled in him by spiritual leaders, teachers, self-appointed gurus, or well-intentioned parents or friends. It is important to realize that the truth of an idea cannot be established based on the authority of its proponents. In fact, because of their positions some religious leaders no longer engage in actively seeking the truth. Ultimately, only when individuals are free to challenge authority does spiritual growth become possible.

The seeker's second step in preparing for a more meaningful understanding of God is to use his own intellectual faculties to evaluate his beliefs. A critical investigation of beliefs increases the willingness to take responsibility for them and also nurtures self-reliance. My work with students in recent years demonstrates that by holding beliefs up to the mirror of reason it is possible not only to have a profound understanding of God but to identify with a more expansive God.

While evaluating an organized religion handed down to them, many people stop short upon discovering the goodness of an entrenched belief system that teaches such principles as loving thy neighbor and doing God's work. However, just as machines that squeeze oranges are rated not by the health value of orange juice but by their effectiveness in producing juice, organized religions need to be evaluated in terms of their practical influence in the world rather than the ideals they preach, which existed long before the advent of religion. When viewed through this lens, it becomes clear that any good accomplished by an organized religion could have come about without the artifice of a belief system, while the faith's violent outcomes could not be mitigated by attributing them to God's will. Compared with religionists, secularists are just as worthy of emulation when they serve others, and no more culpable when they commit crimes against humanity.

Pressing beyond the positive biases of an inherited religion proves to be extremely beneficial. It unveils negative biases rooted in the seeker's religious background. It also furnishes training in individual and collective psychology, providing tools for penetrating the mysteries of the mind, including the extremes of human behavior, the need for spirituality, and the paradox of our existence as thinking creatures aware of our mortality yet aspiring to overcome it. Many great thinkers who rejected religious beliefs in an afterlife still pursued quests for immortality by striving to improve the human condition through their deeds.

But the study of only one organized religion, as helpful as it is, affords little insight into the overall impact of religion on humanity. For this, we must turn to the study of religious history, a horror story of immense proportions. An examination of religious history reveals that adherents of all faiths have consistently sought immortality at the cost of their earthly existence. Religions fostering a desire to be in a sectarian heaven do not inspire peace in their followers but instead tend to provoke injustices. Even religions that consider suicide a sinful act indoctrinate their followers with beliefs that breed inner turmoil, leading to a slow death. And sadly, the lives of "infidels" and "heretics" have historically been even more disposable in the adherents' bids for immortality.

Another awareness gleaned from religious studies is that religions routinely claim to deliver ultimate expressions of truth, often judging followers of other religions as inferior, or worse, dupes of some evil power. Ultraorthodox Jewish sects teach their adherents that the Jewish soul is superior to the souls of gentiles dogma that many Jews accept with pride. Asian Buddhist sects for centuries approached the search for truth as if it were a competitive sport in which they excelled through one-upmanship. Fundamentalist Christians inform followers that people who do not believe in Jesus go to hell, including those who lived before him, never heard of him, or were raised to believe in another god. Similarly, Muslims tell their followers that Muhammad is the last of Allah's messengers and that Allah's final word must be heard and obeyed by all; for Islamic fundamentalists, this means the whole world must convert to Islam.

Organized religions have done much harm by professing the superiority of their followers and creating such divisive categories as true believers and godless heathens, God's righteous chosen ones and pagans, the heaven bound and hell bound, and the enlightened and unspiritual. Overtly, "us against them" distinctions attract congregants by psychologically empowering them. Covertly, they forge polarized perceptions and a distorted view of human abuses, catalyzing endless violence.

In addition, religious scriptures of all persuasions have imperiled humanity's freedom of thought and pursuit of liberty. Playing on fears of the faithful, scriptural writings exalt those who follow blindly, attack brave questioners who entertain honest doubts, and threaten dissenters with a lifetime of guilt. These writings work insidiously in the minds of the faithful who, intolerant of criticism, have gone on to incite witch hunts and religious wars, resulting in immeasurable bloodshed between religions and within them.

Historically, some of the greatest evils have emerged from displays of holiness. It was usually zealots, sure they had heard the voice of God, who fueled the fires of fear and hatred, directing them toward religious sects, ethnic groups, racial minorities, and women. Humanity is still suffering from the fanaticism of individuals influenced by canonized books espousing erroneous ideas, theologies based on superstition, unscientific cosmologies, false expectations, and unethical commands. And not surprisingly, wherever ethnic or racial minorities or women are treated as inferior, the landscape is parched with ignorance and fear. If there is a useful purpose served by religions that continue to disempower any portion of the human race, it can only be in inspiring us to prevent history from repeating itself.

God Without Religion examines the past effects of organized religion and offers more direct avenues to knowledge of God for the present and future. Chapter 1, "Worshipping by Wondering," explores our present understanding of God; this invitation to worship by wondering rather than believing opens pathways for questioning popular definitions of God while simultaneously observing the effects of belief systems on the human mind. Chapter 2, "A Bigger Picture of Human Progress," shows how we arrived at this point; challenging linear notions of progress, it introduces an ancient model of human evolution and devolution as a means for viewing both the rise of religion and humanity's intellectual and intuitive potential for universalizing God. Chapter 3, "An Alternative to Organized Religion," presents the theory of self, a nondualistic option for realizing knowledge of God; this theory portrays intuition as a verifiable, repeatable, and unbiased psychophysical science. Chapter 4, "Testing Today's Choices," weighs the merits of New Age spiritual movements, points out the pitfalls of modern approaches to Eastern spiritual traditions, and illustrates ways to expand the sense of self beyond narrow spiritual identifications.

Interspersed throughout each chapter are techniques to aid in the search for answers to spiritual questions better answers than those furnished by organized religion. These techniques are universal, having been passed down in one form or another through mystical and philosophical disciplines. When practiced regularly, they help uncover not only better answers to spiritual questions but also better questions. And with better questions comes increased spiritual freedom on one's path to knowledge of God. Readers embarking on this path are advised to prepare for moments of discomfort following the release of one familiar belief after another. Eventually, in ceasing to identify with a narrowing belief system, your identity will grow, enlarged by the very questions you have embodied. And with your newly expanded identity you will be more knowledgeable in spiritual matters, for the more we question any aspect of life the better we come to know it.

Of the many ghosts from the past currently haunting humanity, few are as damaging as religion's outdated dogma and divisive practices. The dogma poses a barrier to intellectual and spiritual expansiveness, and the divisiveness a barrier to world peace. In vigorously challenging these walls until they crumble, we become the architects of our own thoughts, unfettered by conventional forms of worship and free at last to seek God from within.

He said it better than I ever could. I honestly believe that the only way for humanity to be "saved" is for at least 20% of the population to 1) pierce and dissolve the veil of dogma from any religion that is covering our eyes, minds and hearts AND 2) develop and nurture a personal, internalized sense of Spirit (God, the Universe, the field, Love, Truth, the Creator, the Goddess, pick your word; for many, "God" is too laden with negative religious associations. . .)

For when we are quiet, when we are radiant and aligned with Spirit, how many of our ills are instantly remedied?

Infect it Forward

Welcome to Sunday Sermons with the irRev. Jayne. For more information, please refer to my Fictitiously Asked Questions (FAQs).

It's hard for me to take Avian Flu very seriously for three reasons: 1) The media in this country have cried packs of rabid wolves so many times, the nerve endings on my fear response are mostly all numb or fried; 2) I haven't seen any credible evidence to convince me that it will affect me; and 3) due to an aural/visual synaptic malfunction in my feeble brain, when someone says "avian flu," the following pictures flash before my eyes: 

(To be honest, I don't know what a "flue" really looks like, but it makes me think of chimneys. Every time.)

According to the FAQ from the Center for Disease Control (CDC):

Three conditions must be met for a pandemic to start: 1) a new influenza virus subtype must emerge; 2) it must infect humans and causes serious illness; and 3) it must spread easily and sustainedly (continue without interruption) among humans. The H5N1 virus [bird flu] in Asia and Europe meets the first two conditions: it is a new virus for humans (H5N1 viruses have never circulated widely among people), and it has infected more than 100 humans, killing over half of them.

I swear, if I were a scientist or technical writer for the CDC, I would at least have a sense of humor about it. I would call the FAQ: Questions Unlikely to be Answered by Common Knowledge (QUACKs) instead. Damn those unfunny CDC scientists.

The World Health Organization (WHO) is taking the potential pandemic (an epidemic over a wide geographic area and affecting a large proportion of the population) a little more seriously:

A pandemic occurs when a new influenza virus emerges and starts spreading as easily as normal influenza – by coughing and sneezing. Because the virus is new, the human immune system will have no pre-existing immunity. This makes it likely that people who contract pandemic influenza will experience more serious disease than that caused by normal influenza.

The world may be on the brink of another pandemic.

Health experts have been monitoring a new and extremely severe influenza virus – the H5N1 [avian flu] strain – for almost eight years. The H5N1 strain first infected humans in Hong Kong in 1997, causing 18 cases, including six deaths. Since mid-2003, this virus has caused the largest and most severe outbreaks in poultry on record. In December 2003, infections in people exposed to sick birds were identified.

Since then, over 100 human cases have been laboratory confirmed in four Asian countries and more than half of these people have died. Most cases have occurred in previously healthy children and young adults. Fortunately, the virus does not jump easily from birds to humans or spread readily and sustainably among humans. Should H5N1 evolve to a form as contagious as normal influenza, a pandemic could begin.

All countries will be affected.

Once a fully contagious virus emerges, its global spread is considered inevitable. . . Given the speed and volume of international air travel today, the virus could spread more rapidly, possibly reaching all continents in less than 3 months.

Widespread illness will occur.

Because most people will have no immunity to the pandemic virus . .  a substantial percentage of the world’s population will require some form of medical care. Few countries have the staff, facilities, equipment, and hospital beds needed to cope with large numbers of people who suddenly fall ill.

Medical supplies will be inadequate.

Supplies of vaccines and antiviral drugs – the two most important medical interventions for reducing illness and deaths during a pandemic – will be inadequate in all countries at the start of a pandemic and for many months thereafter.

Large numbers of deaths will occur.

. . .WHO has used a relatively conservative estimate – from 2 million to 7.4 million deaths – because it provides a useful and plausible planning target.

Economic and social disruption will be great.

Thanks for that, WHO. Can you really see for miles and miles?

Sometimes I wonder whether some people are (even subconsciously) rooting for a global pandemic. Something to break up the routine. Some drama to feed the entertainment/content-hungry populace.

About 10 years ago, I went on safari in Tanzania. One day, we went out and watched a couple of lionesses sleep in mid-day. This is not as exciting as it sounds. Sure, they are beautiful and majestic, and were quite resplendent and golden amid the grasses and wildflowers. The gutted zebra nearby was quite a sight. But cats are cats. They sleep 16 out of every 24 hours.

A gust of wind lifted off the hat of a fellow in a neighboring jeep, and it fell on the grass, just a few feet from his vehicle. This was about 30 feet from the lions, who were lazy, glutted, oblivious sleeping cats. So this guy decides to chance it, and slowly opened the back of the jeep and quietly stepped out to retrieve his hat. We watched this activity intently.

The SECOND the hatless man's feet hit the grass, the lions rose, alert, crouching, staring him down. I must confess at that moment, I was torn. Of course, I didn't want the man to be chased by lions right in front of us and ripped to bloody pieces while he screamed for mercy, but then again, he had stepped out of his vehicle right in front of carnivores in the wild, risking his life to get his hat . . . Luckily for the man in question and my battling conscience, he jumped right back in the jeep, forever abandoning his hat to the Serengeti.

But my point is that I understand the pull of the drama, pain, routine disruption that a kill in Africa, a Hollywood scandal or a global pandemic promises . . .

I believe a stronger pull exists. Can you imagine if ideas were to infect like viruses? The expression of love? A good laugh? The act of dropping a grudge? The decision to cut the cord of hatred, regret or anger that binds us to another? An act of kindness? A decision to forgive and move on?

Again, for this type of pandemic to start: 1) a new idea must emerge; 2) it must infect humans and causes serious impact; and 3) it must spread easily and sustainedly (continue without interruption) among humans . . .

If I am infected with a certain idea, an impulse, an irrepressible feeling of lightness and laughter, and pass it on to everyone I casually encounter, who in turn is infected, who in turn passes it on. . .

Of course there will always be those naturally immune to this infection (like the Grinch, born with hearts two sizes too small!) but the rest, the majority, enough, would be touched, reached, infected, inspired. Then what? Just imagine.

. . .
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll [be infected]
And the world will be as one

- John Lennon

Until next Sunday, Beloveds. In the meanwhile, please try to avoid handling bird shit. Blessings to you all. (PS - no new post Monday.)