Jayne Says

Thunder Snow

Quick grab bag today as I have family here. Things are wild and woolly.

• T checked the forecast and the weather calls for THUNDER SNOW today. Whiskey . . . Tango . . . Foxtrot. Thunderstorm with snow. In sunny California. And for the record it looks clear and sunny outside to me right now.
• Reminds me of when we lived in Washington state (((shudder))) the weather would sometimes call for "sun breaks." No wonder that state has the highest rate of suicides and serial killers.
• And remember how I was gloating with sure victory last week about my case? The decision came down, it will be published and we won. So more gloating and celebration is in order.
• Oh, and say hello to new blogger Henry David Thorough, a fellow Northern Californian. And ladies, he's easy on the eyes as evidenced . . . oh, he took down his picture, anyway, trust me, and go give him a warm welcome . . .


• For some reason, I registered for a blog top sites website. In the religion category (don't laugh). You know you can't stop me from writing about spiritual matters no matter how hard you try, how much you ignore me on those days. There's a button over there under the "misc" section in my sidebar. You can click on it or click here, then rate me as a 10. And we can all have a good chuckle together. Hey, I'd do the same for you. I somehow "shot" from 273 to 20 in 1 day, but maybe it's because my "competition" is . . . well, you can check some of that out, too (but I have found some interesting blogs there.) So thanks for clicking, voting and externally validating my existence.
  
  
• I hope you all have a WONDERFUL weekend!

Reader Poll

Sometimes, my little avatar looks a little harsh. Mostly I like it because of the striking resemblance to me when I'm wearing my dorky glasses. However, I like change and easily tire of things. I would like some feedback:

1. Keep the WTF/glasses/cat avatar. It's Jayne! Bad/confusing to change avatars mid-stream!

2. Make it a little softer, sans glasses and with longer hair now that my hair has grown out (from stortroopers):

3. Combination:

4. Go for something else but still cartoony. Like this (minus the santa hat after next week, but I love the halo!)  You can play this little South Park cartoon game here, I know this isn't the most original "look" but it's fun. Okay, I kinda hate it.

(And I'm just following Jaquandor around apparently this week as he has such great ideas and finds the weirdest/coolest stuff, like this game and the hell by design deal. So Larry, you can blame him for that one.)

5. Something else (ideas? But don't forget to weigh in on 1 of the above as "backup" to your brilliant idea.)

Yes, Jayne Says is LADEN with content today. . .

Back in Business

So I turn my back for a couple days and my blog hosting service (TypePad--for which I pay, natch) melts down, something about data center, diagnostics, blah blah blah. Thanks to those who e-mailed with their concerns - no, it's not your computer, no, I didn't remove any posts, yes, I'm still here. Looks like everything's back on track.

It's late, just now back from my conference. I will catch up soon.

Question: Have you ever met in person folks you met online? How did it go? How long did you "know" them online before meeting? Regrets? Surprises?

Monday Miscellany

A couple months ago, I devised a brilliant strategy to motivate myself and others. To say it fell flat would be like saying grand pianos are a little heavy to lift by oneself. I'm pretty much the bossiest, most Type-A, control freak slacker underachiever I know. So I developed a system to help me be more productive, now that I work from home.

It's called M.O.V.E.A.S.S. (Motivate Ourselves by Vigilantly Exchanging Accomplishments Scheduling System). Yes, it's really about exchanging glorified "to do" lists. I'm thinking weekly instead of daily. If you want to know more, (if you are a slacker who would like to join with other slackers to motivate one another) here's a post about it. I'm not proud.

But at least what I lack in self-respect I make up for in denial. (Puppy goes: Huh?)

OTHER LOOSE ENDS: A little while ago, I sent out a desperate plea for music suggestions. I have finally listened to much of the recommendations and am ready to dole out the promised prizes!

First Prize goes to Neena for introducing me to my favorite new band, Over the Rhine. Even my best friend and husband both love this band. Neena also has great book recommendations and is hott.

Second Prize goes to Popeye for introducing me to a great Eastern European band I never would have been exposed to otherwise (DeVotchka), and also for being the first blogger to move me to tears (in a good way) with his writing.

Third Prize goes to Tiger for the quality and quantity of wonderful recommendations. And for being so dreamily, evocatively . . . her.

Honorable mention go to Amethyst (I'm digging Lacuna Coil!), my favorite Funky Bug, Robin (I sampled some of your recommendation and probably need to listen some more for it to "take. . ."), Don (no blog), my buddy Chris (no blog but he has a website--comment if you want your website mentioned!), and BFF Princess (no blog except maybe an old lame one at MySpace).

I don't know what to give as prizes. It's negotiable. Let me know your ideas.

I am mixing a CD for Princess for Christmas. Here's a rough draft that I'm listening to, whittling down (yes, I like movie soundtracks. One of my favorite soundtracks is Grosse Pointe Blank but it's not mellow enough for my Princess):

• I Radio Heaven (Over the Rhine/Films for Radio
• One of These Things First (Nick Drake/Garden State Soundtrack)
• Turn Me On (Norah Jones/Come Away With Me)   
• Faithfully Dangerous (Over the Rhine/Good Dog Bad Dog)
• Murder of Lawyers (Soul Coughing/Live Rarities)   
• Goodbye (This Is Not Goodbye) (Over the Rhine/Films for Radio)
• Such Great Heights (Iron & Wine/Garden State Soundtrack)
• World Of Two (Cake/Comfort Eagle)
• Fair (Remy Zero/Garden State Soundtrack)
• Songbird (Eva Cassidy/Love Actually Soundtrack)       
• Blackbird (Sarah McLachlan/I Am Sam Soundtrack)
• Summer Kisses, Winter Tears (Julee Cruise/Until The End Of The World Soundtrack)   
• Across The Universe (Rufus Wainwright/I Am Sam Soundtrack)       
• It Takes Time (Patti Smith and Fred Smith/Until The End Of The World Soundtrack)   
• Happy to Be So (Over the Rhine/Good Dog Bad Dog)   
• Days (Elvis Costello/Until The End Of The World Soundtrack)       
• Painter's Song (Norah Jones/Come Away With Me)   
• Calling All Angels (Jane Siberry With K.D. Lang/ Until The End Of The World Soundtrack)
• The Seahorse (Over the Rhine/Good Dog Bad Dog)   
• Venus As A Boy (Björk/Debut)
• Love You Madly (Cake/Comfort Eagle)
• Lebanese Blonde (Thievery Corporation/Garden State Soundtrack)
• In the Waiting Line (Zero 7/Garden State Soundtrack)
• Let Go (Frou Frou/Garden State Soundtrack)
• The World Can Wait (Over the Rhine/Films for Radio)   
• Latter Days (Over the Rhine/Good Dog Bad Dog)   
• You Love Me (DeVotchka/How It Ends)   
• Star Me Kitten (R.E.M./Automatic For The People)   
• Reverence (David & Steve Gordon/Buddha Lounge)   
• Death's Door (Depeche Mode/Until The End Of The World Soundtrack)   
• Drive (R.E.M./Automatic For The People)

Thanks again!

Like you care

I am off to Los Angeles for a conference at which I may or may not be a presenter. I usually get roped into doing so at the last minute--don't these people know I am an introvert and HATE public speaking? Seriously, I heard that is ranked over death in the list of top fears. But then again I can never manage to keep my big mouth shut when it comes to projects I am passionate about and I happen to be involved in one of those right now. They're clamoring to hear all about Jayne Says! Okay, not really. I return Thursday evening.

I will check in to see whom I have alienated, go visit those I have neglected, etc. this evening. I assume that every hotel, especially in the Center of the Universe (L.A.) has free wireless Internet these days?

It looks a bit drizzly out, hope it is warmer down south.

I leave you with the phallic logo awards. Here's a sample:

(I found this on fark.com but I think their server is down.)

But then T pointed this one out to me. This is a real logo. Having to do with caring for children. Please tell me this was not created to look like what it looks like. Sigh. On that note . . .

Aaarrrrrrggggghhhh!

The groom is stuck in traffic.
The early labor was a false alarm.
The envelope contained marketing materials only.
The Senior VP who has final hiring authority was called out of town for an emergency meeting.
Your new love interest had to take a raincheck, something about a death in the family. Quick parting kiss on the cheek on the way out.
The sprinklers went on unexpectedly at the gallery - they have to delay the opening a day!
The projector is broken.

Fuuuuuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkk. How can they do this to us?! TOMORROW?

It's been "tomorrow" for a week now! If this drags on through the Thanksgiving holiday, I don't know what I will do! I am not at peace. I am not meditating. I am not calm in the eye of the storm. I am not patient. I AM FURIOUS!

In the meanwhile, I have one of these in my shopping cart, just in case:

Ms. Jayne's (Hopeless) Opus

My beautiful Children of Blog.

I have a brief confession and request for assistance, if you would be so kind as to indulge me. First, please forgive me on the awful post title. It's bad; I know it's bad. I was in a hurry, trying to quickly think of a movie about music. Of course The Sound of Music would have been a little obvious, don't you think? (That, and I didn't think of it until later.)

Anyway, I love music, but have neither the time nor inclination to really keep up with new bands. You can see what I tend to like over in the sidebar down on the right. Smart lyrics, good melodies. I am growing tired of looking at the same old CDs, both in my sidebar and on my iTunes music library.

The "newer" bands I like are White Stripes and Audioslave. I picked up an Evanescence CD a while back I liked. I like "softer," groovier music, too, (the I Am Sam soundtrack with surprising Beatles covers is one of my favorites) and confess to a Dave Matthews Band weakness--but the music has to have something strong and raw to it, for it to move me. Of course women with great voices -- Tori Amos, Norah Jones, Chrissie Hynde, Alanis . . .

I DO NOT like "classic" American rock, generally. Can anyone help me out with some music selections to update my wardrobe, given these criteria? I know, I'm pathetic. I need help. 

Please, people, for the love of God, don't let me end up like my mother, still rockin' it to Fleetwood Mac and Rod Stewart. And recently adding Celine Dion to her collection. Anyone able to introduce me to a new (or new to me) band I love gets a prize!

Witness

Dearest Children of Blog. This must be brief as I have other engagements (real, not Sims 2, thank you very much) Friday.

Beloved: do you still doubt that a Greater Good, a Divine Plan, guides your most perfect destiny? Dare you hold true the knowledge that Everything May Not Suck So Bad, now that you have borne witness to the Omens of Change?  Behold:

Bush Stung As Miers Withdraws Nomination:

Bush, beset by poor poll ratings, an unpopular war in Iraq, high energy prices and the possibility of indictments of White House officials, offered no hint about his thinking on a new nominee. . .

The tide is turning, children. We did not order the Dick Sandwich and we have boldly returned it to the kitchen. We will vigilantly scrutinize the menu and offerings in the weeks to come.

Until that time, Brothers and Sisters, let us Rejoice together. (I'm already drunk; shocker.)   

Can I get an A-MEN?!  Many Blessings,

- The irRev. Jayne

Reality Bites

I feel compelled to write today.

Words as subtle as the "b" in "subtle," profound as the bulge in Ewan McGregor's pants, galvanizing as my favorite bucket, dry as my mouth after a bender, aching and tender as my wrists from typing.

But today, for the first time all week, I have what they (that omniscient anonymous authority) call "a life." Who knew?  3-D friends, driving all the way over here to our new little town for some revelry and a rock concert. I don't know much about the band, but have been assured I will know their music from "the radio." These friends are younger and decidedly more hip than we, so maybe some of that will rub off.

I will return on Monday after I literally phone in some real life work.

Weird Science

Wow. I had more visitors to and comments about my site today than all the other visitors and comments combined since I started this blog last month. I think my newfound popularity has something to do with my readership finally grasping the nuances of my spiritual message, and nothing whatsoever to do with the grasping of  (HNT link removed 12/6/05, sorry . . .)

However, I would like to conduct a quick reader poll, in order to more specifically tailor the content of this site as it develops into the future, so that I may better satisfy my customers. Please quickly comment whether you would like to see:

a) More snarky/cringe-inducing posts about how it's okay to express your spirituality;

b) Jayne's perfect, uncovered 36C breasts;

c) More gay porn, please [specify guy/girl preference];

d) All of the above; or

e) None of the above, you self-aggrandizing, vain, talentless hack.

Speaking of highly empirical data, I would like to briefly respond to some of the personal e-mails I received as a result of my HNT posting:

1. Thank you, that's nice to hear.

2. I'm happily married. However, I would leave my husband (with his blessing) if you are an exact, perfect combination of the following people:

All mixed together in a quirky bucket.

Otherwise, probably no chance. Unless I'm really drunk. Like right now. Wanna hook up? U R 2 hott!!